This is clearly one of those "A hole's a hole" situations
I tapped out to boredom. She bought me a full meal at Subway. Two tap beers and a pretty weak long island iced tea. I'm five dollars cheaper to fuck than she is.
I remember her trying to talk to me a few times after we broke up and I'd always change the subject to bagels.
Oh my god it just tripped me out that I used to be a baby, I had to tell you.
I like that most of our conversations somehow end in us having sex for the good of our country
Just did my hair and make up at mcdonalds so we're in the same boat.
love being home for thanksgiving just had grandma pick me up from the frat by her house
I have a completly random but serious question. Can I make a paper mache mold of you ass and turn it into a pinata filled with airplane bottles of liquor? Its for my art class
I can't come tonight. Someone took a shit in the dressing room. A.) Clean it up or B.) Kill myself. Text back with your answer.
Someone is in my phone as "fireball girl" and keeps texting me. How do I go about finding out who it is?
Tommarow we shall sacrifice the freshmen to the sun god
Would you like season tickets to my vagina?
Well... This is my last night at the resort. So far, the only thing that has been in my vagina is sand.
All I did today was eat pizza and use my vibrator.
Spotify says I’m in the top 1% of Indigo Girls fans worldwide. Didn’t know I would peak this early.
Aren’t you trying to seem...less lesbian?
Randomize
