This unplanned pregnancy thing is really taking all the fun out of football season.
we walked in to her beating him with a broom while he was trying to sweep ramen into a box. there were packing peanuts everywhere.
We found her hiding in the bath tub.. And when i opened the curtain she replied "thank you" and walked out like nothing happened.
I guess she thought her walk of shame would be more dignified if she stole my dog
Question: rebounding with your exboyfriend over your rebound guy is healthy right?
You know it is an interesting night when the 911 operator calls you
We got kicked out of Walmart for playing cod with squirt guns of course it was better then prom.
She just came home holding a fire hydrant. Yes a fire hydrant.
We had 15 min before last call. Exact quote "let's see how drunk we can get."
When and where the fuck did we get a beach ball??
So many Oreos I'm regretting this decision already but I'm happy at the same time...The straddle is real
Struggle. Not straddle. I'm not straddling anyone.
She put a shot in my mouth and then hit me with a pillow..
He did 5 five hand stand push ups and took off his shirt for a barbarian flex. Some girl took off her shirt and threw it at him
He's 5'2" and his dick 4'8"
Just looked at my bank statement. 9 out of 10 transactions on the first page were from 9 different bars. The 10th was for birth control pills at the pharmacy. I need to rethink my lifestyle.
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