The maid of honor just puked.
My lunch today consisted of going on the brewery tour with my boss. Free pretzels and two free beers.
I hate you.
To be fair, the beers are only 8 ounces each. So maybe you just kinda dislike me.
You better have your party panties on Saturday!
Why only Saturday?
Well I have an AA meeting Sat morning so I'm going to try to take it easy Fri.
so my doctor just swabbed my throat, and he looked up in suprise when i had no gag reflex. yea, he just judged me.
I just found glitter on my vibrator... whatever we're doing has to stop
your stepbrother is rimming his martinis with coke... keeps saying "thank god its tuesday". where does funemployment end and intervention begin?
If i spent $300 & took that thing home i would hate myself today.
No one even knew you were hurt until we saw the multiple cuts to prove it, and when we asked what happened all you could say was "I fell out"
Apparently, I kept going on about how i'm going to name my first born Ramen. I think this is a good parenting move.
I have vomit stuck in my nose, you should come with a warning label.
Well it's 2pm. Time for another game of "Who, What, Where". The game where you try to guess who this girl is, what happened last night, and where'd your shit go. I'm going for 1/3 today.
That's better than I've done so far.
Good news. That bum you thought that died is alive.
Finally liberated my Star Trek DVD from my booty call's house. Captain Kirk would be so proud.
Current state of being: shivering like a new born kitten on the bathroom floor
Uess honpr I rememebrt hEzS cuter
You'll have to translate that into sober in the morning.
Randomize
