Oh fyi, I gave your card to a homeless guy last night and told him you were the world's hottest blonde girl who only likes black men...Sorry
I'm watching CSI, they found semen in the woman's ear.
Guess she heard her killer coming
You left a skid on my bar stool!!!!
Oops! Sorry about getting stool on your stool!
when she said she would show you her other bow, she ment she wanted you to bend her over and see the tattoo on her lower back you idiot
this morning i realized i came home with more condoms then i left. burn.
I got an MIP via FUCKING HELICOPTER. Tuscaloosa police either have nothing to do or too many resources.
There is too much vodka and too much dick.
I had sex with her like 200 times, and she was only pregnant once, those are pretty good statistics.
Did you make me take pictures of your ass last night because you fucked on some wet paint or did i dream that?
I forgot I did whipits. Probably because my brain cells were killed from the whipits
body shots are frowned upon at family weddings. i'll keep that in mind next time. maybe.
strip vodka pong is never a good idea. I saw into his colon when he picked up the ball off the floor
I know it's anime porn but I promise you the guy looks like Fred Durst
First night of sleeping in the same bed, and she farted on me. I immediately excused myself and went home. Don't know if we're still together. Will update you.
WHO GIVES HANDJOBS AT 8 IN THE FUCKING MORNING
Randomize
