What do they do with the elephants that die at the zoo
Cremation, why do you ask?
I think we have a bit of a problem
filled out health questionnaire for lower premiums a little bit too honestly. Literally got assigned a life coach.
Yeudjkisdjxbfceryuj. i love having a qwerty keyboard just so i can do that.
I feel like I'm one of those people who someone looks at and thinks "how did she get into this college"
I just speedwalked down the broken metro escalator while high. Basically all my worst fears combined
I know I said I was done dating 22 year olds but it's not my fault all the guys my age gave up on life and got fat
This is love.
Which part? The alcoholic cupcakes or the lesbian st paddys day party?
got one for peeing in public....called the cop a donut dunking communist...should be a fun court appearance
Ok here's the state of the situation: We're alone in a strange city with strange people with nothing but alcohol and sprite, I think we're gonna make it.
you start one little fire by the lake and the police want to talk to you all night...
I just said "I love my cat" as a hobby.
And he's back on taking these stupid testosterone supplements to kickstart him back into working out. And they just make him angry and horny all the time. I'm like great, just in time to meet my whole family for Christmas.
I just used an Amazon gift card from a student to order a new vibrator....teacher of the year
I used my mad pharmacist skills to turn ordinary birth control into morning after. I think my professors would be proud.
A lady played my boobs as if they were drums. It's been that kinda night.
Randomize
