Never write on a napkin "my face, your boobs" with your phone number and give it to a girl. Just a tip of the day from my nightly experiences lol.
We need to hang out more often
If i off myself, it'll be in a lobster costume in the hot tub with butter...
I woke up with ten beers in my bag that hoarded at the party last night. Rally? Its five somewhere.
is drinking for groundhog day legit?
well you blacked out on MLK day and we pregamed arbor day, so yes
I'm pretty sure he's lost all respect for me. it probably happened somewhere around the time i had officially slept with every single one of his friends..
she's crying and begging for her chapstick and insisting on walking home...her every thursday ritual
Drunk me thought he was hot enough to overlook the fact that he had poison ivy and still have sex with him. Sober me wants to know if you have any calamine lotion.
New drinking game. Every time Romney and Santorum switch leads, take a shot.
....this is what your political science major is getting you?
just woke up in a camero on the way to nebraska, i would appreciate it if you answered your phone.
Would you mind pretending to be lesbians just for like three emails?
My gut feeling that we had reached a new level of intimacy last night was confirmed early this morning when you sleep farted on penis.
The smell of mosquito spray completely ruined the sex.
im single, its not even nine am on Valentine's day and I've already gotten laid. suck it relationships
Sorry your girlfriend got you a valentines present and you forgot to get her one.
How long will your dick be dry?
She was crying and pulled the collar of her shirt up to blot the tears. And then she just kept her head there. And stopped crying. "My boobs are just too amazing for me to cry." her words not mine please help she's still in that position
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