You're so nebulous sometimes
I was just told by a cop that my party was the most epic party they ever crashed
the only reason i even kissed her was because we were having sex when it midnight, and i heard people yelling "happy new year."
Fuck morning classes. Fuck early work. Fuck anything in the morning that doesn't involve sleeping, sex or bacon.
Last time I heard from you, you were double fisting strawberry milk and wine. Answer this text so I know you're still alive. Bonus points for a coherent answer.
A man and his most likely hooker just bought us Taco Bell.
I remeber being on the roof last night and we put our heads togeather and we touched each others face and said "Hennessyyyy"
Some old chick is rubbing my thigh and saying she needs some Memorial Day dick. Her teeth are kind of gross but I'm going for it.
It takes a special kind of Adderall to make me go to the hardware store, buy paint, and paint tiny polka-dots on all four of my bedroom walls.
did i just pee glitter
Yeah last night got weird fast. No lie, a kid pulled a butt-plug with a tail out of his ass.
I puked on her cat, I think I should at least buy her breakfast
Had sex on your trumpet just an fyi.
If your talking about a poncho I WANT ONE
Her dad had just brought down their giant American flag for 4th of July and we fucked on it. I have never been more patriotic
Randomize