2 nights ago she wants to see other people, tonight she wants to have a threesome. The GOOD kind of threesome. So... win?
I can't make any promises. I've tried my best to stay celibate. But if a guys on top of me, Im gonna tell him to stick it in.
Thursdays are my worst days
but now we sippin champagne when we thirstay?
We owe the rent and you're unemployed...you're in no financial position to flirt with cocaine addiction.
okay im going to go eat, shower and find underwear... call if you want.... but ill be listenig to glee VERY loudly.
Your remote is drenched in lotion and you expect me to believe you weren't masturbating?!
while we were dancing I voluntarily took my bra off and hung it around his neck as a necklace. 2011 lets go
And he probably thinks I'm in love with him but after three shots of Patron you love anything
i mean, not my actual scene but if someone says "PARTY" ill figure it out
I'd rather not be labeled as that girl who came over, drank a bunch of their alcohol, woke up the 5 year old, broke shit and left
I just had the worst experience of my life, my grandma found my condoms.
I thanked him for the booty call offer but told him I'd rather just do it myself
For the first time in my life, I may be the most normal person in the room.
Update: I am definitely the most normal person in this room. And the least tattooed.
I had to rename my dildo. I met a little kid who named his teddy bear the same name. It just felt wrong.
You used a fucking bud light like as lube last night. I'd get a UTI test like stat.
Randomize
