i have to go see a new gyno today. he's a male. i just took 3 shots of tequila. its almost like freshman year... drink alcohol, meet a strange man, let him play with my vagina.
If they made snuggies with a sleeve for my morning wood, id consider buying one...
If I have to go to the hospital can we stop by the liquor store on the way?
That sucks. I just talked to a telemarketer for 15 minutes about CSI: Miami and weed.
Put a customer on hold today while I threw up. If I don't get employee of the month, I'm suing.
I an in a belgian bar and i cant understand shit. Trying to talk to strangers. Getting drunk until we all speak the same language. Brace for updates.
He looks like he'd be great Lego character.
Like, he's a nice guy. But he's better at fingering than he is at speaking.
Its not chugging if its just one gulp
I wish I cared about making my vagina as presentable as you do.
Well, personally I like to keep my blackmail in well organised folders.
the night literally screamed "cock and ball torture"
2016 shall be rememered as the year I sharted while putting up the Christmas tree.
He tripped and fell all the way to the ground and then stood right back with out spilling a drop of his 3/4 full glass of rum and coke. It was like watching something from the matrix
Does it still count as a threesome if one girl left halfway through cause we were having too much sex?
Fuck you for even being able to ask that question
Randomize
