I have a page in my 2010 scrapbook dedicated to pictures of his cock.
she sent me pictures of 3 different vaginas and if I could pick which one was hers i could sleep with her.
I was always good at matching as a child.
I legit just said "vaginal access denied" then told him his password hint was "tequila shots"
He ate me out. IN THE MORNING. I love less attractive men.
She called us while she was having sex to ask if we remembered to feed the cat
I dont understand how her boyfriend puts up with her weirdness
I have a cat, a bottle of wine, and a Brazilian man. I need to catch you up on my life
It's time for everyone's favorite Wednesday night game... WHEEL OF. VODKA!!!!!
I was drunk for 3 days straight...well wasted for 3 days with periods of "just drunk" inbetween
Are you up yet? I really want to know if i tried sleeping in a field... i have the vaguest memory of trying to
Please tell me you're not home alone watching Glitter.
Can you see in?
Dude that chick had a dog in her car. Like when she goes bar hoping so does roofus. He gaurds the car.
The fact that we all screamed by Felicia to a bitch actually named Felicia will be a highlight of my life
Got arrested last night. My cell mate just added me on Facebook.
Now swiping left on 23-year-olds with abs. Is this adulting?
You took the glass microwave plate and said it was the closest thing to a frisbee, let me know how that works out for you
Randomize
