i was drunk at family dinner telling about my gay brothers sex ads on criags list
we need 14,000 post its to execute this plan
vodka bottle broke. scooping it out of the plastic tub with a shot glass into a sprite bottle using a ziplock bag as a funnel and straining the glass out with paper towels. good thursday night?
Don't ever tell me I'm a bad friend. I woke up at 7 this morning to drive your mistake home because you wouldn't get up.
I had to drink a couple beers this morning so I could attend the keg race. Hangover had to dissipate or it wasn't happening.
She called me her guardian angel after I picked her phone up from the river of pee coming from her front porch.
I am pretty sure we beat baby seals over the head in a past life. That is why we are being punished.
Ah well. Drinking wouldn't be drinking without mystery bruises
Agreed.
Sexiest use of a semi colon this week, congratulations.
I CLEANED MY BATHROOM FOR YOU!! betrayal
So, i might have left my morals back in 2011.
He's gonna fuck me, then his girlfriend is going to come over and fuck me in front of him. And they're smoking me out. Happy birthday to ME
the next morning we realized we didnt speak the same language... guess i subconsciously did learn a little german last semester. thanks study abroad.
ah the experiences a semester in Vienna can give you. Frau would enjoy knowing that even while sleeping during class you still managed to learn enough german to get laid
I literally forgot every French word I knew and blurted out “mange moi” so he went down on me like I was some baguette fresh outta the oven!!!! I passed out.
I realized my soar muscles form the shape of me leaning over a toilet
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