it's too hot outside to masturbate.
i want tt clbm rinabw nd ride uncrn
what?
i wnt tto climb a rainboww and ride a unicornnnnnnnnn
whats the weirdest thing you ever masturbated to?
King Triton
Ya know, I lied. I wouldn't mess with him. Not because of the crazy/rehab issues... but because he wears tank-tops.
There is a woman in the bar breastfeeding a baby. Doing shots. Gotta love maryland Applebees.
I don't even know. I woke up to a text from someone named Vick saying he was 'legit worried' that I had herpes.
At what point should i just give my brother a break and stop sleeping with his friends?
i looked at my phone & had a message that said "tell your friend she needs to clean my livingroom, i dont appreciate her trying to turn it into a bubblebath." I give you probs.
Just showered now I smell like berries instead of shame
he calls himself the gay cupid because he matches two guys looking to hookup on craigstlist with each other. get me out of here. please.
omg this is getting ridiculous. nobody's vagina should ever be this neglected.
Next Halloween I want us to dress up as jockeys, get drunk, and ride a carousel all night until we throw up or declare a winner
The night before doing drugs with your bro is like Christmas Eve that made love to thanksgiving that made love a virgin.
This is gonna be a long day for my vagina and I
New strategy for telling if someone is drunk: will they attempt to drink a candle if you put a straw in it?
Randomize