Well I'm going to a gay club in my banana suit. You should come. My bro is going as a pirate. I don't know if there's a theme.
Dude there are two smokin hot chicks laying outside my apartment...I almost want to tell them theyre laying where I threw up last night
U should. Its a good ice breaker
I've spent 9 hours vomitting in the fetal position... how did i stay like this for 9 months?
i dodnt think we hooked up bcause he actually texted me the next day
I am a terrible person. This is almost as bad as when I was going to see my ex while my boyfriend was at that funeral.
the bathroom floor of the diner looks a lot different when you're not rolling around and puking on it.
He said I was trying to make the bouncer dance with me AS he was throwing me out
I think it's safe to say taking shots on the way to the emergency room was rock bottom. We're going to need to think of ways to top that between now and next new years eve...
You slid down the bannister into a split. Lines were crossed.
Just had the best random sex ever with a girl I picked up from a pro choice rally uptown. God bless the Democratic National Convention.
You better be making out with him cause we're sitting here with this awkward british girl watching videos of goats singing maroon five
You know you're in the hamptons when it's 10pm And you kind of want to vomit white wine on rug that costs more than your apartment.
All I know is I was bleeding, she was bleeding, we stole someone's Lucky Charms, and then I made you guys order a pizza
at least he now gets to tell people how he once threw a party so epic that the next day they had to clean some girl's body paint off the ceiling
Thrres cinnamon everywgte. Plead cine get me
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