hi i'm bored and kind of... in a sort of dirty mood
pics
no i'm at a mixer dressed up as the teenage mutant ninja turtles
New high or new low? Cat walked into the bathroom while I was taking a #2, looked @ me, sneezed and walked out..
Why are we friends again?
Is it a problem that I find my wife's 16 year old niece sexy?
no today was horrible, i woke up and somebody slit my car tire and left an apology letter in my wiper that said "sorry wrong house"
the guy in the stall next to me, came in, farted, laughed, and proceeded to give himself some sort of hillbilly pep talk that included the phrase "big pussy".
As far as drugs go, alcohol has all the elegance and precision of hitting yourself in the head with a hammer.
Vodka tonic time....wish me luck!
Go for it my man. I'm saving my shit show night for tomorrow. Gonna make it a big one just to let the entire bar know why I'm single
I'm reliable. I always make it home. I always throw up in the street too.
I'm dressed as a caveman and drunk so that's not really an option
Apparently I filled my purse with chicken nuggets and told my mom I was a "sexual squirrel."
You know you threw a brownie at my head last night. And said you did it to defend the turtles honer....
Threw up in hyvee parking lot. Thanksgiving shopping complete.
You know it was a weird week when you have a mystery bruise and youre unsure if it was from crazy sex or getting bit by a duck. Life.
I'm either hallucinating or there is a dying cat outside my apartment....
Woke up at 5am in an elevator... Pretty much tells you how my weekend went.
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