I couldnt find her vag and just started laughing uncontrollably. She was not pleased. Neither was i.
HE had a tribal tattoo tramp stamp, jasmine.
If it makes you feel better he went down on me when i had a yeast infection.
Were not really friends so much as I suck his dick a lot
It's kind of sad that your greatest accomplishment today is that you stood up and didn't fall down.
I told her she can't come to our bonfire because she throws up on herself & she has a mustache. And now apparently I'm a bitch or something.
the girl peeing in the stall next to mine has really cute shoes. on a scale of 1 to restraining order, how weird would it be to compliment them from in here?
just woke up in a camero on the way to nebraska, i would appreciate it if you answered your phone.
Last thing I remember clearly was, "ok, but if we're are gonna get drunk before class, there's no half-doing this"
You told her that she shouldn't be allowed to wear clothes then when her roommate asked if you like her you said "no I just want to insert things into her"
I stand by it.
What kind of life do I lead that no one is surprised by the fact that I was watching porn at work with the hot 37 year old?
Sorry for the milk in the bathroom. I was washing mace out of the one security guys eyes
He said 'I really struggle with the sin of lust' then we proceeded to have sex. So I guess it was a perfectly executed Catholic pick up line?
I have two choices: tits or tacos. I just can't decide.
Is it sad that I just pissed sitting down so I didn't have to stop eating doritos?
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