i wish there were pregnant emoticons
you were the other women for BOTH people in the relationship?
the last thing i remember is fucking her. GAME CHANGER i woke up in another bedroom to her younger sister blowing me
he actually used the line "do you have a map, because i'm lost in your eyes" and i was to drunk to care
You drew a lightning bolt on your eye and stomach in eye liner and made me sing Poker face with you in harmonies. I never knew you were still a music major when you were drunk.
He's drunk and putting on a tie for the jimmy john's delivery guy
His beard is glorious and he smells like barbecue. Introduce me to him.
it's like his dick is making a u-turn.
Lets just say...I plan on being a bigger shitshow than Miley Cyrus at the VMA'S
I'm wearing the monkey suit out tonight. I hope you're ok with it leaving the bedroom
On the way home there was a guy passed out IN the road on Colfax with his pants around his ankles, completely bare assed. If he was dressed as a speed bump, he succeeded.
You don't have to have sex with both if us but I would like a little positive fucking regard.
Was it your intent last night to burn the house down? With a waffle..
walk of shame across osu's campus on game day. i can see all the spots i threw up last night. its like my personal yellow brick road.
I mean his penis was perfect in pictures but its even more perfect inside me
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