im sorry i didnt take advantage of you..iwaned to
i wanted you to too
don't go back without me... they'll know i'm pooping.
I'm just sayin. Is it sad that I spent my last dollar on a hamburger just to get a paper bag to huff out of?
I'm playing the Jersey Shore drinking game by myself at my mom's house. Things like this are not okay after college.
i just funneled a beer through a mask n snorkel.. can you check that off my bucket list..
Fuck him tonight for the both of us. We're still tag-teaming in spirit.
She is going down in cock block history. He went in to kiss me and she threw her hand between our faces and yelled "DENIED!"
I just saw a van full of amish parents and their kids. Those cheating mother fuckers!
Periouds do not concern me. Biploogival needs are buological needs.
The only thing that was weird was that it WASN'T weird when she got out of the shower and saw me blowing him.
Your engaged. Stop telling guys you will sit on their face. They don't always know your kidding.
which guy lost his keys in my bed this weekend?
Wors thing about having a cop dad: random drug testing
Would I chase a raccoon with a flaming stick sober?
The people at subway are so judgy when you stop to get a sandwhich on your walk of shame
Randomize
