Excuse me do you have gonnorhea?
Contrary to popular belief alot of woman do actually enjoy sucking cock.
Which one of you FUCKERS filled the toilet with soil and planted my mothers daisys in it? NOT FUCKING HAPPY
i can't believe he got me to come over to him by waving a natty light at me.
Fuck the gym. I just shaved m'cooch and my pants now fit looser.... Dont judge me.
only my mom would pack illegal paraphernalia in a care package..
Just tried on my bathing suit for the first time this year. Had to drink a beer to numb the pain.
we found him in the shower with a bottle of jose saying "this is Mexico's fault"
How could you give up sex for lent? I gave up religion for lent years ago and never looked back. Or give up civility, not sex.
my heart is telling me chinese, but my head is telling me beer.
I just spent a solid 3 minutes trying to figure out how to send a smell through my phone
Running my fingers through my hair is like that scene from Patch Adams where the girl goes swimming in a pool of spaghetti. I love molly.
the texts you sent will act as the rosetta stone for all drunk people
To show us how offended you were you took off the right foot of your pterodactyl suit and proceeded to attack us with it.
I asked him to have birthday sex with me via xbox live
Randomize
