shit is crazy. i just keep thinking that this kid growing inside Emily used to live in my balls.
you could tell him that chauvinism doesn't go very well with his gay homemade tank top
So we went to home depot to buy supplies to build a beer bong but ended up buying an office water cooler that were going to put vodka in
i feel like i was in a swimming pool of captain and coke and had to drink my way out
They are chanting tits for freedom and I'm highly considering
She trust falled out of a window. It was like that scene from A Little Princess but with a lot more blood.
I'm glad we are bonding over both contracting clamidya. Winners.
100%
im currently assessing the tequila situation in preparation of your arrival
It's always a good night until the penis tattoo makes an appearance
Sorry about the flaming shit on your door
I never thought I'd be in my late 20s and send that text
My mother is even happier about me having a sugar daddy than I am
Lesson learned. Don't roleplay with a real knife.
YOU TOOK A FUCKING SNAP OF ME TRYING TO PEE! I'M GOING TO FUCK YOU WITH THE BUSINESS END OF A RUTED RAKE!
I think I'm taking after my dog, I just want to hump everything
Last night was a bad idea. I'm hungover and the contents of my purse smell like Korean BBQ.
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