I just didn't expect you to be so naked....
been sitting in chapter for 25 minutes. drinking last night's franzia out of a XXX vitamin water 10 bottle. recruitment chair has no idea. life is good.
I wish his dick was as long as his hair.
Oh no I havn't even told you about the naked asians yet
On an unrelated note: I'm also a big advocate of the "never waste a boner" theory.
I may have made out with a tranny last night, which, if I don't get fired for everything else that happened, really makes last night epic.
He came so hard he burst a blood vessel in his eye. Do I have to take him to the ER? because I'm too tired for this shit.
He just had a handle of vodka with ice in it yelling at people hot august night mother fuckaaaaa and was pouring it on his face
You called me to pick you up from the bar at 9:00. When we drove over the speed bumps you put your hands in the air and pretended you were on a roller coaster.
i just remember sliding through the snow and yelling i love america before puking on the oncoming cars
I mean I want to go somewhere. I just don't want to put on pants or behave.
Blocking me on Facebook doesn't change the fact that you've had my penis in my mouth. So there's that.
the next morning we realized we didnt speak the same language... guess i subconsciously did learn a little german last semester. thanks study abroad.
ah the experiences a semester in Vienna can give you. Frau would enjoy knowing that even while sleeping during class you still managed to learn enough german to get laid
Do not confuse my plans for being an adult though. I will ABSOLUTELY be practicing suturing, on my porch, while getting stoned.
I just found an entire bag of French fries under the seat of my car labeled "For emergency use only" drunk me is always planning ahead.
Randomize
