I just saw a stripper wear a tube top around her floppy gut. God bless Michigan.
one day john is going to snap and they are going to make a new show called "john and chainsaw minus 9"
i just googled 'classy porn'. high, low, i dunno i just got bored of cum shots.
I am NOT getting arrested in a batman mask
Honestly, where the fuck is osama bin laden?
i have received so many congratulations texts this morning. sleeping with him really was a good decision.
I think my penis ruined a perfectly good friendship.
I'm going to join a nudist colony to win $1000. There are no down-sides to this.
I can't be 100% sure of this but I think tonight was the first time I told a middle aged woman holding a baby to go fuck herself
And your cousins porn shouldn't have been the first straight porn you watched. And for that I am sorry
When you turn your data bak on you're gonna get a pic of a nipple but it's not mine
I did sing regulators with a random black dude at The Rail without looking at the screen, hugged him and walked off stage. I pretty much live up to all expectations.
Her name was Danica but I felt like it would be hard to say drunk so I called her Shelby
So my ex just asked for my address to send me his wedding invitation... in Europe. Awesome.
That’s basically a green light to fuck his dad
God gave you your own nipples for a reason.
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