i mean i cnt help that this campus has the highest STI rate
Crosby and Malkin: Two girls, one cup.
the not having weed thing wouldnt be nearly as tragic if it wasnt the one holiday where they launch bright flaming things into the air
Who would have thought the night we were surrounded by 4 cops would be the most responsible night of the week.
For his 21st I'm getting a fancy hotel that way he can at least sleep in a nice bathtub
I think her nose is broken... but I think she's just drunk enough to fall for the whole "sex releases endorphins, so it'll feel better" line.
He gave her the shocker .. I didn't know people really did that.
2 showers later and I'm still finding cum on random body parts of mine
Having drunken flash backs of me giving you a piggy back ride. I was like Jesus, and you were my cross. I fell so many times for you. This is true friendship.
Food poisoning on first date... Still rode the mechanical bull like a champ
Why yes. I did get laid looking like that. My sheets look like there was a clown orgy
At least is you came to Milwaukee to visit me you'd get the best mind blowing sex of your life and free wifi. Who doesn't want free wifi!
But I got head on a boat yesterday which was sweet until a bald eagle flew over. Then it became life affirming.
I did way too many drugs this past week for having a broken nose #commitment
Meeting him up for him to pay half of the Plan B was awkward but worth it cause I'm broke as fuck
Randomize
