Yeah but his hole really smells sometimes
nothing says platonic group sex like a campfire and smores
i came out of the bathroom and he had christmas lights wrapped up his leg, around his boner, and down the other side
Haha I will however wear glass and and draw a lightning bolt scar if you want to have sex that way, and that can be the only time you can call me Harry.
Whatever you gave me is making me lactate
Apparently she saw two women get in a slapping match over a comforter at target yesterday. She said it was awesome. Clearly I take after her.
I like the fact that you've for some reason taken my penis into protective custody
So I pass out narcotics if its a girl?
Wtf can everyone stop fucking in my grandma's bed? This is like the third time
May I make reservations with your penis for this evening?
Idk, but the girl in his story had really nice eyebrows and was singing The Climb. How about you CLIMB the fuck away from my man
FORGET THE EYEBROWS
There is a french fry attached to my steering wheel and a note that says "eat me yum yum" can you explain this?
Just slather his penis with BBQ sauce
Best and worst whiskey dick ever. I am hungover and can't move from the hours of sex, he on the other hand has a raw bruised dick. I win.
That was the first time i’ve been physically intimidated by a LinkedIn profile.
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