I just sneezed and had an orgasam..THAT turned on
someone just broke into my class and invited everyone to the bar ...now we're filling out a police report. awesome.
I fucked a 6'7 Danish man. In the ocean. At 5am. Greetings from Florida!
My clit is not a Gobstopper. Cut it out.
just thought you should know it took me an hour and a half to make soup. I had to keep laying on my kitchen floor. being 21 is hard.
I ran into my parents house and stole a bottle of vodka last night...Apparently left them a note that read "DRUNK. TOOK VODKA. BRING MORE."
i'm not sure what happened last night.. i do remember the police calling me to find out where i was because apparently at some point i went missing? don't worry though. they found me
Best thing I ever did was get a dog. She's like a living trip alarm to warn me of visitors while I'm masturbating.
This hangover is what we deserve after that level of debauchery.
I'm not coming to work today because tequila
Moral of the story - don't craft naked. Your nipples with thank me.
Its a shame I cant put 'bomb ass head game' on my resume.
I thought one was bad but really there are two woman stupid enough to marry our brother...unreal
dude the water is back on, you can stop shitting under the tree . . .
The neighbors ahemed the WHOLE time. Their kids are the ones that scream loud enough for me to remember my birth control. It's payback!
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