I accidentally had sex with my boyfriend's twin last night...and he didn't stop me.
How was it?
Fantastic, but that's not the point.
cant believe you said you would bone perez hilton
i said paris hilton
thats even worse
then i got kicked out of the bar for trying to pay my $30 bar tab in sacajawea dollar coins
Just crossed the line with my beat friends girl twinsie. Didn't realize tillz afta how much the look alike and an thougholy creeped out. Thanks ciroc
I think I just puked all over my comforter and my roomdmate won't wakt up to washc it for me
The hospital said it would be 'irresponsible' for them to allow people to book stomach pumps.
I wasnt going to have sex with him until i ran into his gf at chipotle. It was like the gods were saying "Go ahead. Shes already had her burrito for the day"
My New Years Resolution is to get everyone to start talking like a 40 year old douchebag. From now on, you will only refer to me as Chief.
I've never seen a dude bust out of his jacket and rock an air banjo like u
He said, "cum on daddy's dick!" ... I pictured my dad. That just scarred me for life.
He Dutch ovened me while I was hiding under the covers from his mom. Needless to say it did not end well.
I am stoned, not wearing a bra, and a woman. There is no way in fuck I am getting on a fucking bus.
WHY IS THERE A FUCKING DILDO IN PLACE OF MY GEAR SHIFTER IN MY CAR?
I woke up next to my bosses toilet.i wish you had just left me in the neighbors yard.
Its that time in the evening when I've had a few cocktails and wish you'd make a video about the packers and Jack Daniels.
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