this girl is running around outside screaming, it's creaming on me! it's creaming on me. I totally have to find my video camera
dear life, i get it, drinking is not a contest
I just saw grafitti that read "Mug The Fart Eater". Really, Memphis? That's all you've got?
If I were a hot girl. I'd whore around, I'd be awesome.
We can get Dustin to help us. I think he'd be good at luring girls into a dark alley.
im going to live freely with my legs opened and my heart closed
I saved him as teletubby in my phone....that can't be a good sign. I'm not answering.
I have their Unicorn picture in my shirt, and I just threw a Bud Light Platinum bottle through their window. We need to go now.
When I woke up everyone at the party was in their underwear. Only you guys were playing strip pong.
Yes, we all have the power to convince a large amount of people to take their clothes off
you just cant say you love him and then say you want to fuck your boss
I should not be able to sum up my life with a taco brand motto...
Lets get drunk. But not too drunk that I can't work in the morning. But maybe drunk enough so we'll make out
That was the most spiritually awakened shit I have ever taken.
I party with great urgency now.
I blacked out after the piñata full of condoms
Randomize