She was lying the whole time!
She was a great actress
I was a great dumbass
they started playing Don't Stop Believin' and you had a melt down because it wasnt the Glee version
So my game is weak??
If your game is "Lets have sex, and maybe pizza" then yes.
Can't promise anything, there's vodka in my thermos
Happiness for him is a different happiness than you can supply cuz you have life standards, morals and goals that dont include the bar or beer everynight.
He wanted to feed hamburgers to the homeless... as a first date... who the fuck is this kid
The guy who bit me so hard two nights ago that I had to put Neosporin on my nipple and the guy in my bed right now are two different people. Help
I woke up to him peeing by our bedroom door. I yelled at him to go to the bathroom and he just kept peeing while he walked there. This is a new low.
He ended up buying the equivalent of dinner at a Mexican place, in weed
Yes, you can go into Petsmart drunk but the cats awaiting adoption don't appreciate the soft pretzels squeezed through their cages.
I woke up on some strangers couch covered in salad mix and oatmeal cream pies. The struggle is absolutely real.
He told me that he's proud of our abnormalcy as a couple. I think it's the most romantic thing he's ever said.
i'm so glad to be in bed i'd like to thank the acadermy
Found her grinding on my boss with her tongue down her throat last night. Guess who just got promoted!
If sleeping with your boss doesnt scream job security i dont know what does.
Randomize
