some girl had on jean underwear. i hate america.
Just watched porn on a 60 inch plasma screen TV... So that's where the clitoris is
we did it on the golf course and he threw the condom in the pond. some poor fish is gonna choke on it
There's a skull full of vodka. How bad can it be?
I should have known our good time had gone to shit when his ankle bracelet started flashing.
besides i was ending his dry spell. it's written in the bible that jesus likes that right?
An hour ago, you were stranded out of state, and now you're getting laid? You are a god. Whatever you do, don't ask her name.
Just did coke off of a cross necklace and am headed to the strip club. Happy Easter!
Math equation of the day: 4 waffles + 1 bowl of weed = 1 terrific nap
What about.....a game of twister and....wait..nevermind. I've hit my cap for sexualizing things today.
I don't miss having sex with him. We had our finale fuck last week. He's all yours now.
I was going to be upset with you on moral grounds but then i realized free chocolate was involved
Remember that guy that walked around our house naked with a boner wearing nothing but his winter coat? Well, he has a kid now.
She really wants to put my dick in her mouth, and to be honest I really don't want to put it there.
so horny i almost want to text him..and then i remember the restraining order i have against him
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