i had to do the walk of shame dressed as a leprechaun. I have never been more proud of my irish roots.
So you actually don't remember giving head to the Neil Armstrong statue last night?
i'm sorry for cheering you on when you were making out with him. i was just celebrating the fact he was decent looking for once
she's sitting here naked with heels and a taco.
theres a new barista at starbuck holy fuck she's hot
i want to face-plant into her vagina
Omg. I felt like a crazed animal last night. My lesbian instincts burned a hole in my panties.
i was drunk enough to give the cab driver my number when he said "you talk like you like guys"
This is what we do on Thursday nights. Spray tans, blunts and drawing pictures of cats.
I also have to vacuum the broken noodles out of my suitcase...
is it acceptable to cross the border for sex?
There's a stripper getting there at 10 though so hopefully I'm out before the stripper gets there. I don't have time to deal with a stripper.
I'm disease and pregnancy free. This is an Easter for the books!
Like, defending PBR and Bio Dome consumes a lot of my time.
Everything is covered in gelatin and pam cooking spray. Jesus be a shield.
Do you think I could use my teacher of month Award to get free drinks?
Randomize
