just witnessed a squirrel raping another squirrel. i couldn't look away.
Oral text is very safe with the right protection.
WHY are the edges of my bra charred???
I'm going to pre plan my black out tonight. I think I'll set a change of clothes out on my bed and unplug the oven.
You expect me to find someone in two days who I feel comfortable enough with to ask them to get drunk and go play in foam with me?
You're fine
I'm hiding in my chest because my walls smell weird. I'm not fine.
He just grabbed my boob and justified it by saying "I just wanna feel your heart beat"
I take to many stalker pics of him. If he ever looks through my phone he'll never give me sex again :(
Dude I'm at a bar, and there's this Elvis impersonator here that I went to rehab with. Apparently Elvis has left the wagon.
All I know is I was bleeding, she was bleeding, we stole someone's Lucky Charms, and then I made you guys order a pizza
If TJ is short for Trader Joe, I'm gonna fuck him
ALL I WANT FOR CHRISTMAS IS FOR YOU TO SHUT THE FUCK UP FOR ONCE
Well I've decided to refuse to conform to society and be naked the rest of the day.
A sultry night of tacos and sex sounds nice. Should I bring home milk?
Lesbians just stole my cat :(
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