Do you think Patty Mayonase ever went down on Doug?
Ana's brother is visiting for the wknd. He came back to our place last night drunk to find me passed out naked it in the shower with the water still running. I was still drunk. We decided it was a good idea to have sex and sleep on the bathroom floor. Woke up this morning spooning and using my towel as a pillow.
A disheveled girl in front of me just looked down, shrieked, and yelled to the girl next to her "what is this" while pointing at two large white stains near the crotch of her black jeans. I love that Thursdays are weekends, it makes awesome Friday mornings
My body isn't even mad at me...just disappointed
the kid next to me in training is drinking sangria. its 9am here in case you couldnt calculate. its going to be a good year.
Have I told you recently that I love you, if for no other reason than you make my irresponsible substance abuse look tame by comparison?
My drug dealer is making me hot tea during the snowstorm...I'm a fan.
I'm dying. The alcohol is viciously exiting my tiny body.
You just gave me the title for the series of our lives. Haha. Chapter 12: the cocaine on the back of the hairbrush
I just scored a new eye doctor and a date all in one email. BOOM!
I got my period today and I cried tears of joy. And then just cried because my cramps are actually killing me from the inside out.
Ok, not to minimize the significance of that beautiful anecdote from your childhood, but here's a video of my penis.
I can empathize with sociopaths, serial killers, demons, gods, and monsters....straight white males are literally the only barrier to my 100% empathy rate. I don't get it.
He said a lot of nice things about me, it was really uncalled for.
Started dabbing in blow again because he always hated that I did it. Yuh I’m doing drugs but at least I’m doing me?
Randomize
