I'm currently googling how to make a dress out of a trash bag. It's going to be a great night.
Yea well when i pee it makes steam.
Just because we had intercourse doesn't mean we're friends.
i can't, i'm blowing bubbles in class and getting credit for it
I passed out on the floor of a truck stop. Drinking binge 2011 is now over.
I caught them hiding behind a car trying to have sex.
So the doctor told me that I am starting to showing the early signs of liver cirrhosis. Thank you Jack Daniels for making the first 26 years of my life awesome.
No The bastards made me buy a new one, They don't cover water damage an apparently they consider salsa water damage
Also I think my taxi driver may have just died and we just happen to be on a 35 mph cruise control on 395...
after the shots you kept on yelling "this is for the dreamers"
He put my hand on his penis and said welcome home.
That basically sounds like the worst party of my life, and I'm including my brother's World of Warcraft themed birthday party.
Look at all the pictures I have of us sucking on jello syringes.
I have more sex toys than shoes - HOW AM I SINGLE?!?!?
That kid singlehandedly fucked the breakup right out of me. I'm only hooking up with Millenials from here on out.
Randomize
