Goodnight my chunky, little, marshmallow muncher
i'm watching degrassi (go figure) and the episode is about jimmy not being able to get a boner and now he's famous and rapping about popping pussies..i dont get it.
I have way too many pictures of poop on my phone
woke up in a shopping cart using a keystone box as a blanket. how was your night?
this is like her 8th guy since december, is she wasn't frumpy people would call her a whore
heey were did you guys go? last time i remember seeing you i was throwing up in the fountain
How am I a tease?
Dude you flashed me ur vagina and walked away.
ONLY PART OF IT.
At the end of the night you handed the bartender a piece of paper with the word "VISA" written on it.
Is there a word for someone who only has sex with NFL prospects?
I an in a belgian bar and i cant understand shit. Trying to talk to strangers. Getting drunk until we all speak the same language. Brace for updates.
She carried my bag of puke down the aisle and the flight attendant wouldn't move the beverage cart so she put the puke bag in the flight attendant's face and said "I have a bag of sickness!" I've never seen a cart move that fast.
I started dipping tositos in my screwdriver last night
then apparently I went "not bad" and continued
she and her cat are both sick as fuck so they just sat there looking at each other with her nose dripping on the cat's. both out of fucks
I had my first "Damn Kids/When I Was That Age" rant at work today. We need to drink this feeling out of me. NOW.
I’ve seen not one, but three Facebook articles on my feed today about “how to eat ass”. Idk what the universe is trying to tell me but it’s needs to chill
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