I think I just agreed to be an escort for an Asian guy who's gonna be in the city next weekend before he moves back to Shanghai...
passed a homeless guy with a sign that read "420 vetran" we gave him a bowl of bud
you covered his dog in toothpaste. safe to say hes not gonna call you.
So I've gone into the break room to heat up a styrofoam cup 8 times over the course of 4 hours.. that desperate to see him. Now I have a broken heart AND cancer.
Time for jim to play the "dont seriously consider pooping in the trash" game
don't you dare blame getting arrested on me. you sugested we play the penis game and we all know I'm a strong competitor
I deleted my history right in front of my girlfriend w/out her seeing. Let's go skydiving with no parachutes. I can live thru anything.
I told him he deserved someone better...then I told him he looked very fuck-able wearing nothing but sweat pants. We'll break up in the morning.
I still feel like a bad person. A shoulder to cry on became a dick to suck.
GOVERNMENT SHUTDOWN NO RULES ICE CREAM FOR BREAKFAST woooo!
You drunkenly said something along the lines of "move forever" to the lady standing in your way. Needless to say you had too many mimosas at breakfast.
He's balder, I'm skinnier. I win. I. Win.
I never realized how weird our shower smells until I cracked a shower beer and had a familiar aroma to compare it to.
she was concerned about my dick piercings.
I can't get past the whole vibrator up the ass stunt.. Can we have a ceremonial burning for his dignity because I will not ever touch that again..
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