Note to self. Condoms are not microwavable.
I was debating whether her purse was real then I saw her puke in it.
He was just laying on the stairs and then screamed, "Is that a clubhouse?" I haven't seen him since
Hey do you want me to wrap up that Jack in the Box you left in my gutter
I think we should go through the tsa checkpoint with raging hardons when we go through LAX. I think we should pass out some viagra to everyone
so you know how I brush my teeth after I give you a bj? according to my dentist my teeth have never been cleaner. looks like this will be a recurring thing
The silhouette of his dick looked like an eagle. Amurrican.
I told her the party couldn't handle my playlist LAZERBAWLS and I was right. Cops in the basement, orgy in the kitchen, jousting in the living room.
I just stole a bunch of balloons from a birthday party and am giving one to each person at the bar.
This is my last chance to be the first person to fall off this roof.
Apparently this establishment won't let you rent a sailboat if you have been drinking rum all morning
Like, bro, how do you think I got the idea to go sailing
I think about him when I masturbate so I guess you could call it love
I left at 4:30 in the morning and I told him it was because I had to take my contacts out
His abs are so defined he looks like a human xylophone.
She's writing hockey erotica again.
Tell her to pick another team besides ours this time.
Randomize