yeah she is the one who tells people i beat girls.. which ironically make me want to punch her in the face
part of me always dies a little when i go to the "2 women seeking 1 man" section in craigslist's casual encounters to find nothing there. it's tragic
I just realized I used lady gaga lyrics in my research paper on marie antoinette
He just keeps repeating "this isn't my bagel".. i'm worried for his safety
I puked right in front of him after winning beer olympics and he still hooked up with me. My life is so easy.
I swear to Christ if it turns out to be an intervention, i will set you on fire.
New drinking game. Every time Romney and Santorum switch leads, take a shot.
....this is what your political science major is getting you?
I want someone to sweep me off my feet and you want someone to fuck you on the kitchen table. They're both perfectly logical needs.
The number of males in the usa getting circumsized are decreasing. Keep this in mind when we become cougars
Which I'm also surprisingly fine with. If he walked into the bedroom naked, holding a fish in one hand and a lit candle in the other and said "Let's get fucking weird." I'd probably go with it. He's just that hot.
i feel like when you brought up the possibility of you getting pregnant the sexting is over
I'm sobbing to NWA
If Denver makes it to the Super Bowl I'll quit drinking. So I'm pretty much stocking up on booze
I seriously thought Satan had his hand up my asshole and was pulling out my soul. Never. Again.
Dude, Kevin called the cops on the cops.
Randomize
