what if I'm pregnant?
smusmorshion
i dont know why he would complain when i touch him there.
I stole another quarter from the bathroom. I'm slowly getting rich drinking here.
aaaaaand im pretty certain i told that boy i just met that "his balls better be out tomorrow"
You are mentally unprepared to be exposed to my degree of perversion.
I played ping pong,drunk, with my hand instead of the paddle. And i won. I have hidden talents
I hurt so much. Not in the emotional way, but in the I went to dive bars sorta way.
I was galloping around pretending to give birth to pbrs. I could have used a mask.
I'm not sure what your ex was trying to say to me I was too busy chanting your name in his face
Shaving your balls drunk sounds like a good idea untill you do it
I just made some sangria and taking a roadie on my stroller walk around the hood! Parenting at its finest
Fortunatly we found him, he was on my roof. Unfortunatly, we can't say the same for his pants. Still looking. BRB.
You know what would have been funny if we got arrested last night? The inventory search of the lock box:\n\nContents:\n1 work ID\n1 33 round Glock magazine\n1 set of keys\n1 vibrator\n2 bags fruit snacks\n1 parking hang tag
Some nights you do cocaine till 5:00 in the morning, and the next night you teach yourself how to crochet. It’s called balance.
I fucked a 6 foot tall guy who has abs showing without even flexing... I am a wizard and I have magical powers.
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