dude, despite what happened last night, I'm not gay
official worst smell ever. a used condom that has gone through the dryer.
Watching a deaf couple have an argument in the mall. Can't bring myself to look away.
There are babies in the room i shouldnt be high with babies in the room.
it's like her boobs came off with her bra
In case you were wondering, my scare crow is wearing your outfit from last night.
maybe volvos are so family friendly and safe because they're extremely uncomfortable to get fucked on.
That is NOT what pussyfooting around means. Try that again with your toe and I break it off.
came home to a trail of roses from the door halfway up the stairs. but my nonsingle roommate lives downstairs. idk if they celebrated on the stairs or if some girl tried to woo me last night and i don't remember
Found out I slept with someone who likes Pitbull. I really should get to know someone better before I sleep with them.
Sangria Sundays can't keep happening. Even my second grade students know I'm hungover. Benji even gave me his oreos its that bad
We accept all of your sexual lovers, Jewish, episcopalian, atheist. Dick is dick
I woke up with a black eye and a buttplug...not sure I really want to know what happened.
now acid just makes me think of crab ragoon
This weekend was amazing, 4 confirmed pukings, 2 cops, 3 hookers, one photographed t-bagging of the groom, and a night in an illegal gambling house.
Randomize
