Just checked, might have creepy crawlies. What does chlamydia feel like? Not near wireless to consult webMD.
i've never heard her scream louder than when the koreans scored. what am i lacking in bed?
Uh, also, Rob told me he felt bad for choking you.
just woke up to find an unpeeled banana, with a condom on, halfway into my vagina. this better not be you trying to be funny
Scored tix to flower show. Do we want to go drunk on Saturday or hungover on Sunday? Only two options.
Just puked up hair, tacos and vodka. Hello Memorial Day weekend.
I just found scrambled eggs in my shower. Thanks for that, asshole.
So not the biggest tits he had his cock between. He could have lied.
Sorry, but when you makeout with a guy in a panda suit, you know something has to change.
It looks like I colored my belly button red at some point
So question... If I'm sexting with uncircumcised guy, do I have to add *then i gently pull your foreskin down*?
If they could bottle a hangover it would taste exactly like lemon lime Gatorade and failed hopes and dreams
There's a girl passed out on the sidewalk at the parade. Its not even 10am. She gave candy to children saying it was ketchup. Still think I have a problem?
I showed him my machete and then we made out in the kitchen
If I'm going to keep blacking out this much I need to start taking more pictures.
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