I took Valium worth by frank. I squabble
Li shadha you vin. It's phot out. I just ate a fried Oreo
your address is 607B right?
yeah why?
i need to tell the guy bringing over the flaming bag of dog shit where to put it
its raining. im dressed as yoda and im trick or treating alone. and i wonder why im still a virgin..
my dog ran away and came back with a marajuana plant. what are you doing tonight?
I threw a jar of pickles out the window at a police car, why was that not a good enough reason to put me to bed?
He told me I just kept sending him the word sex and dollar signs.
Check out this gay circle: I've now hooked up with my ex-boyfriend, my ex's ex-boyfriend, my ex's ex-boyfriend's ex-boyfriend, and most recently my ex's ex-boyfriend's ex-boyfriend's ex-fling.
I still can't believe you had sex with someone who willingly went by Peaches.
no it was not a "magical experience". After we dropped, he just sat there staring at my laptop going "apple makes beautiful things".
Hahaha more like walk of pride. You entered the lions den last night.
Like seriously, I would not be going if there wasn't pizza
I don't know when he had the time to do it but he dug a hole in our basement like the shawshank redemption
Do you ever go take a shit and end up sitting on the toilet for like 45 minutes wondering what the fuck you're doing with your life?
Everyday my friend, everyday.
he said he couldn't believe he just lost his virginity and passed out. what have i done
"I'm 22, I could die in a piano bar." -a sentence i actually just said to my boss
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