Whod you bang
i'm saving my butt for my wedding night
so hey instead of everyone buying me a birthday present can everyone just pitch in for my abortion?
And then I chipped his tooth because I got too into it. Helloo, single life.
a drug dealer just gave me his business card. it had his face on it drinking a 40oz
I hope this doesn't change things. I feel that me being a minor made it more exciting.
She said, "I don't really go out much, but my husband recently cheated on me" and I don't remember anything after that.
Somebodaw call 311 postw fire bunso on vietena floorwnkd
I was just expressing concern for your pickle consumption.
Come get her ASAP. She's "people bowling," which is just her rolling into random groups of people. People look pissed.
omg i wish you could see the front of my car.
There's literally a dust print of your body and your arm trying to hold on and the other one where your fingers visibly dragged down the hood.
They are the perfect team. One always has weed, the other always has cigarettes. They're like the Batman and Robin of drugs
Dying on my bathroom floor at 7 am, I would rather be eaten by a shark right now
We kept having to tell you that you couldn't just sit wherever you wanted at Walmart. Sitting in the middle of the raw meat section was unacceptable and children were staring at you.
I'm really sorry I called you a "smug, arrogant, boyfriend-fucking piece of defecation". I was super drunk.
I was going to be mad, but then I remembered you don't use autocorrect and spelled everything correctly and I was kinda impressed.
Randomize
