Got a plan. Ill do rock paper scissors and if you win we smoke a joint. Throw rock.
Call me back. I want to hear your side of the dead cat in my garage story.
I just took went to the bathroom and it smelt like blue curococo... I didn't flush yet so head on up if you wanna know what a good night smells like.
noo you weren't that drunk. you just knocked the grill over and couldn't get the key in the door, so you climbed through the window. success.
I hope to God 2011 is the year I stop loving tequila.
Numbies before the dentist, such a good idea.
this whole plan B standoff thing with her is really starting to make me nervous
I'm on my way, but at some point we're going to have to settle who gave who crabs the last time
Wow. This hand sanitizer smells awesome. It's like I just gave a handjob to a fruit basket.
She finally pulled over after almost hitting 4 cars and a semi and asked me if i was rwady i told her to let my penis to come back out
She frightens me and turns me on at the same time. She's a keeper
Restraining order pending?
She's on her period. You don't know what fear is.
No. Not going out tonight. No. It's Tuesday. Xanax and Full House Tuesday.
He was playing minecraft so I took a shower with my vibrator
Seeing someone hit Themselves in the balls with someone else's hand is amazing. I love being the sober one
Randomize
