Seriously, stop being so datable w your movie/song prefs
drunk pissing on my closed toilet lid is actually quite a sobering experience
some crying dude holding an empty fifth of burnetts just showed up at our door and asked 'do i live here?'
btw im making up a story about these stitches..... i think a hockey stick to the face sounds better then i fell up the stairs
you might as well be a hobo. you were covered in pee last night hanging out on the stairs drunk.
right. well we all have our lows.
begin the sex magic rocket ship countdown
He was dressed up as Jesus and had vodka in one hand while he was blessing everyone and splashing them with holy water in the bathroom.
Are you planning on wandering into construction sites drunk and falling down 6' holes?
probably
You have not lived until you've had your brains fucked out on a broken down Tunnel of Love ride. Life is good.
Mark my words I will never date another cop again. I don't care if he's JESUS.
I think I almost ran over some kid I went to high school with. Guilt factor: moderate to low.
Currently tripping balls and watching Pink Floyd the wall and I'm crying during it. If this isn't a self realization then I don't know what to tell you.
I made a powerpoint to trip to.
you are so studious.
Can you please come in my room and pour water in my mouth? Too hungover to move. btw who is this guy in my bed? Can't see his face. Cute?
Man I can't believe I took a huge dump in a public garden
Randomize
