i'm touring the leper colony via mapquest street view so we dont have to go there
Everytime she would start slurring, she'd stop, hold up a finger, wait like 30 seconds, then try again. I love drunk people
the only reason he called me tonight was because I fertilized his crops on farmville.
We should be flying into LAX instead so when we land I can turn to the right and see the Hollywood sign
You can't even see the fuckin Hollywood sign from LAX. guess she never got the memo
So... on the count of three, we are going to forget last night ever happened... 1...2...3
You are literally throwing a tangerine right now. Beer pong is not played this way
Well, I've taken the art of car peeing to new heights
Come over so we can have two person sex in this one person tent
Zach, it's Lisa from work. Was that you yeiling BALLS DEEP at me on I-25 or is it just something about me that invites that from rando creeps?
no body wants to do anything today cause it's too cold, but a guy can only masturbate so many times a day. Ya know
Cheers to being single today. There's an entire box of franzia with my name on it.
Him showing up yesterday was like a giant ego stroke for my vagina.
Is there a single word to describe 'the last guy she slept with before meeting her husband'? Cause there should be.
Dude, they hit that lizard part of my brain that tells me to fuck people.
Preach sister.
Made it to the top o the stairs ALIVE YES FUCJ YOU GRAVITY
Randomize
