It usually only happens when Im really excited. Normally not that fast. You still enjoy it?
I just puked in the walgreens aisle buying gatorade and advil for my hangover... i guess i failed
No i dont need Magnum Condoms, that would be like putting MC Hammer pants on my dick
So does it count as really great road-head if he ran over 3 mailboxes before realizing he was off the road?
He just referred to himself as a sharp shooter. I had sex with that.
We looked at pictures of a Texas banjo contest from 2006 for a half hour and then were surprised by who won. That stoned.
True that.. I am going to ride a gold plated unicorn across a field of cocaine and coach purses when I graduate.
That was beautiful.
I'm sorry for biting your husband's ass last night.
I now have a GPA requirement for guys I hookup with more than once.
usual friday morning routine. the pants i wore last night are in my passenger seat and im rooting through the pockets trying to make exact change at the dunkin donuts drive thru
It's like those toothpaste commercials where 4 out of 5 dentists would recommend your vagina
Just leave a note saying "riding dick see you in the mornig"
why does every cop we meet know your name?
Spencer just told me I got home and was opening beers with my teeth and trying to make pot butter
Her dad had just brought down their giant American flag for 4th of July and we fucked on it. I have never been more patriotic
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