Omg I def was not. I wasn't that drunk. I showed that I stuff my bra but I didn't whip my tit out.
well apparently i yelled MY VAGINA WAS ANNIHILATED and his whole family heard
I'd do that. But we would need storm trooper helmets.
I never Thought the day id see a chick shove a 2liter up her vag. that happened last night
I'm just gonna be the bigger person here and say I want you inside me
She just told me her legs are numb and that she dedicated her karaoke of ice ice baby to her 4 month old son.
tried doing a cartwheel after 10 beers. Guess who has a dislocated shoulder.
we played a my little pint drinking game. It was awesome.
which guy lost his keys in my bed this weekend?
On our way there. Drinking my beer out of a coffee pot. Cuz it's my bday
Omg this place. I'm at a neighborhood party. My mom has kissed two other moms. Where am I
If everything else in my life fails, at least I just had one of my top orgasms
I'm just so full of love and alcohol
All time low: no dry towels so I'm using the sex towel to dry off
I watched my wife kick balloons while wearing thigh highs. It's not a sentence you get to use too often
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