1. Mark my dj buddy and I spent $1000 on bottles last night
2. We were casually offered narcotics while walking down the street
3. I will still be awake when you start school tmw, cause there's no last call
So if any tells you miami is the same as the rest of america, there are just lying to you
You know its been a rough night when you wake up and the first thing you remember is your mom going skinny dipping.
I just saw a homeless guy on rollerblades; I don't think I've ever felt sorrier for someone in my life.
they just did a mariachi cover of free bird
there's nothing like that first "just failed out of my program" beer
You brought back some girl with you at 3am and introduced her to everyone as "hot pocket"
she was carrying the quesadilla around the bar like a security blanket
Just wandered into a surprise final. Only a surprise for me though. I wish I could say this is the first time this has happened.
I was too drunk to read the menu, let alone her body language.
i know i saw many looks of jealousy when i walked solo into subway carrying a cheesy gordida crunch after taco bell closing hours
I'm sure for most of the people, it was the one and only miracle they will see
I should probably stop recommending my dentist to the different guys I'm seeing. That could be awkward in the future.
I haven't gotten dressed in 4 days. God bless you, unemployment.
I told him he looked like my uncle.
Why would you say that in a bathtub?
I want to create a human. Discussion later.
He was singing on top of spaghetti, and then started crying. He said it was the saddest song ever, "so so sad".
Randomize
