okay I'm thinking he doens't have a facebook...I'm on page 28 of Hunters
ok you need to stop NOW
I think this dress is screaming I want a birthday 3some with two moderately attractive guys. I hope.
I was just about to go down on her when she gave herself a "smell check" and said "no, not today".
Dude, just paid my sister in vicodin to go out and buy me a slushie.
And here i was gonna offer you a complimentary blowjob.
Dude she has starbursts in her sports bra. I feel like this is counter productive.
i asked the cop if we could stop and do a chinese firedrill.... he said no.
New hot neighbor boys moving in across from us...So i did the logical thing and bought two 30 packs up the hill and walked right by em. Consider the line hooked and ready to reel.
Yoga may not b such a good idea for me today. My liver is obviously in cahoots with my colon to pay me back for the past 24 days of misuse . Downward dog could have catastrophic consequences.
Sorry for the milk in the bathroom. I was washing mace out of the one security guys eyes
You shouldn't have to. I think you should bust into work like "pay homage to my magical vagina!"
There's an owl outside. I feel like he's hooing directly at me.
Yess he was literally so drunk that like at one point I'm pretty sure he thought it was hard and in when neither were true :/ haha
He literally cried into his tacos and screamed fuck bitches. Don't know if it was the best, or the worst hook up, ever.
You also spilled beer on my dog and tried to wipe it off with a paper towel but he kept getting away from you.
Randomize
