Also do the "tongue the pee-hole" thing.
She has 2500 facebook friends. I probably should have used a condom.
I was so high i started crying when i saw how much puppychow was there.
He said "I know I'm not gay. I fucked a guy once and didn't like it"
I JUST WANT SOMEBODY TO EXPLAIN HOW FORESKIN WORKS AND DO NOT UNDERSTAND WHY THIS IS A PROBLEM.
yeah, it's no longer just 'day drinking' when it's 5pm and you're knocking over fruit displays at fresh market
i gave her a can of corn and told her the cabs are accepting non perishable food items over the holidays. blatant lie and she lives like $40 away
Woke up on a mattress on a roof this morning with a pair of briefs next to me. Oh fleet week.
I've made my dad a martini every night since I was 13.. I got this
She asked if I wanted to "Mormon Motorboat" her, which I guess is just motor-boating her through her cloths. Turns out I did.
Is cereal technically a soup?
Fuck, I'm high.
He's so urbane and sleek; so aesthetically chiseled, having endless features to offer me whenever I desire.
Are you fucking a guy or a condo building?
Their first impression of me was that I was completely naked. So yeah college hasn't even started yet and I'm already that person.
I feel like the dump I just dropped is the most successful thing I've done so far today.
I think I offered a man a blowjob for his power ranger suite last night...
Randomize
