Is it weird if i grunt like Tim Taylor when im having sex AND grilling steaks??
And we will make penis cookies and eat them suggestively
You're pretty and everything..but you aren't worth the DUI
I REALLY appreciate you guys taking care of me when im wasted but i think its weird when i wake up in different clothes than black out in
Just passed on a threesome. I'm too old for that kind of morning after.
I'm at breakfast at my kid's school and I have noted at least 3 other parents with last night's red wine mouth and bleary eyes. I don't know why I always get so paranoid.
Fuck. I'm going to pass the savings right on to the strippers. It's trickle down economics.
At least he finally released me from his spooning oven of death...
Everyone called me "Barf Vader".. And I lost your lightsaber.
She sent me nudes via email. What the fuck are we still in the 90s? Grow up
I'm jealous, curious, and aroused. All at the same time.
My job here is done.
Girl I'm contemplating picking up some adult diapers. That's how bad this is and it's only day 2.
It's almost like he's actually taking my commentary and criticism to heart, but simultaneously succumbing to some primal urge to wear less clothing each time.
She did what?
Who. The correct term is she did who.
Did you see him? The correct term is definitely what.
Just did the "lost my phone, need #'s" post and I got a text saying "go ahead and save me as Ashley-DD because I know you will anyway. I think I love her.
Randomize
