I just found a frying pan...in my bed.
Grinding on my ninth grade teacher. Dreams really do come true
chick im bringing home just asked our cab driver if she could do a line off his turban. i think im in love - or trouble.
all they had in the fridge was rum and filled water balloons
I mean I knew we were putting on quite a show but I didnt realize HOW good until I woke up and 4 people were passed out with their ears to the bedroom door.
It was around the time I started requesting "big girl straws" from the bartender for my jack and diets, that I knew I'd probably wake up with my sunglasses on and find my wallet in the shower.
It was one of those "I have no idea if this will ever happen again so I can't say no" opprotunities. Part of me was like, "You slut" and the bigger part was screaming, "Hell yeah"
I didn't think it was possible, but that girl next door is even louder when drunk.
My mom and I are having a "yay I don't have herpes" shopping trip day
Someone woke me up and gave me a sprite and some pills. I put them in my belly button. Trust no one.
He gave me a hug and said "He doesn't deserve you, Anna. Your boobs are great, and I'd fuck you anytime. Any. Place." I need a new 'gay' friend.
You need a Jiminy Cricket, but for sexual decisions.
Our DD will meet us there. The strippers are sending a limo to pick him up. He promised them New Years Eve massages. Said he would still drive us home.
Definitely thought about throwing up in the cat box since it's not as far to the bathroom..
We were going to play manhunt in a strip club, calling it mancunt.
Randomize