there are certain things about getting into a cab to go home at 630 am that make me feel like a prostitute.
Just bonged a beer from a vuvuzela...this place is only doing good for me
He wanted a handjob during a John Wayne movie. I just couldn't find it in my heart to disrespect that man. John Wayne that is.
i promise ill be ok...btw im only considered "not ok" if i end up in the hospital.
when it says do not use on the face or genital areas, it MEANS do not use on the face or genital areas.
Alright. I will breast feed the first person to get here.
He wore my sunglasses on his honeymoon..... so there's that.
i sound like a 75 year old homeless man that has spent all his panhandling money on cigarettes since he was 12. that rough.
I wish they'd wear their tampons on the outside. At least gimme some warning
How bad is it if you swallow a really small piece of glass? Be optimistic if possible I'm anxious about it.
Oh and no more ball pics to my family. Got in a little trouble over that. They have no sense of humor.
They sleep with other people as long as there is no oral. Logic and reason were thrown out the window a long time ago with them.
I peed sitting down because I knew standing was a lost cause
I wish I could take a screenshot of how things literally look from my eyeballs right now
why did you kick open the doors at church screaming whos ready to party?
Randomize
