whats up tonight?
Ice cream, wine, and teabags... Not the earl grey kind
I almost didn't wake up for my first day of work. The 3rd bottle of champagne was a mistake. And the 2nd bottle of wine after that was probably excessive
I just used a tire swing as a toilet. I think I'm gonna pass out here so I can see the look on the first kid who uses it in the morning.
sounds like you fell off the wagon.
fuck falling off. at this point, the wagon is a dot on the horizon.
I think I would be able to remember how to smoke but I can't seem to remember how to breathe.
So I'm at planned parenthood and there are 5 people here from Friday's party.
Who would have thought the night we were surrounded by 4 cops would be the most responsible night of the week.
Yeah things got weird. You ate an entire bag of hotdog buns, then tried to catch a tree on fire with a candle.
She looks like if Peter Griffin was a lesbian.
Run away.
FUCK YOU. AH. FUCK BOTH OF US MORE BOOZE.
MAS TEQUILA.
My only positive piece of news is that my roommate is moving home for the summer, so our stress-relief sex will be much easier to get away with.
Also I've come to learn that "type" and "fetish" are different things. Apologies for earlier confusion.
A homeless man just offered me vodka. The power it took to deny it deserves an award.
I WANT BLOOD. HERS. I WILL DYE A FABULOUS PAIR OF SUEDE PUMPS RED WITH HER BLOOD.
the next morning we realized we didnt speak the same language... guess i subconsciously did learn a little german last semester. thanks study abroad.
ah the experiences a semester in Vienna can give you. Frau would enjoy knowing that even while sleeping during class you still managed to learn enough german to get laid
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