Why do girls get to wear clothes that say "do me now" but guys don't have that kind of option?
I mean, what would the male equivalent of a slutty dress be?
Went to mcdonalds... Wishing I could throw up the last 20 hours of my life.
He's been dead since March and more people write on his wall than mine.
beer for lunch on the first day back to school.... too soon?
You guys were grinding to YMCA. I knew you were going to hook up with him.
Just watched porn on a 60 inch plasma screen TV... So that's where the clitoris is
I'll be heading downtown with donuts and a lawn chair at 9am to go Halloween Walk o' Shame spotting.
just woke up to find an unpeeled banana, with a condom on, halfway into my vagina. this better not be you trying to be funny
Call me old-fashioned, but I don't think the words, "Finger my ass" should find their way into casual conversation.
He's under the table sobbing because he doesn't live in a taco if you ever get him this high again I will stab you
I hate vagina strikes, but I must not stray from my path. My boyfriend will know the true meaning of blue balls.
We played table tennis, but used tv remotes taped to our foreheads instead of paddles. Every time your opponent scored you took a shot. I'm the current champion as of last night.
And I got shut down by a ginger. It was a weird night
This friendship isnt goin to work if you dont respond to my drunk texts
I just had 3 numbers I don't know text me and remind me I am to attend AA on monday. Im gonna say it was a good night.
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