Just try to make good decisions...remember our convo we had about morals the other day?
Turn them off?
I cant believe that bitch gave me herpes. she said those bumps were just a part of the natural landscape
wait, did she really refer to her vagina as a landscape?
why are you more concerned about her word choice than the fact that I HAVE FUCKING HERPES
Dude, everyone in your family has slept with that girl. Her vagina is like the Hindu version of a Bar Mitzvah.
all i remember is screaming butter knifes are for pussies.
were trying to schedule when i can give him head in between classes.
Sorry about giving you those ripped gym shorts after my dog ate your pants, but after the awkard BJ incident I didn't plan on hearing from you again
Pierced my own nipple last night, and yes everyone did go absolutely nuts
Happy Thanksgiving! Hope its not too awkward that your dad and your boyfriend are the same age.
I like to imagine god has to get plastered to deal with the fact that he made you and me
So, seriously. How does it feel to know that you're riding a cock that was in kindergarten when you were going to prom?
I had to ask. I mean when you get a snap chat of a nipple you have to ask who's it is.
All of my exes are either overweight and neckbearded or dead. Someone out there is looking out for me.
He made me choke him and call him Papi..so all in all a good night.
Just realized that I indirectly pay for sex through my cable bill
Wow. He is an expensive lay
I still have to figure out the cost per lay. It could be a financially sound investment
She's chasing the cat around the house hitting it with a cardboard sword yelling "there can be only one!"
Randomize
