found a dugout with weed in it in dad's car. decided to top up the weed compartment with salvia. for fun.
we're using his nephews tonka truck toy as a cooler for the beer
Hillary is trying to make pickle pops with vodka and sell them to kids at the ball park.
Cops busted the party. A kid dressed as a dinosaur tried to crawl out the bathroom window but his tail got stuck. It took 3 cops to pry him out.
I'm wearing red that night.
Noted, what shade?
Whore.
I walked out of the bedroom naked holding a used condom only to be greeted by half of my family. Happy birthday mom
I normally need adult supervision or a babysitter, but I refuse to let someone keep me from making irresponsible and wrong decisions at the bar on my last bday ill ever have in texas
You gotta hand it to him. 6 hours in a new town and he's already fuck someone, had his ass kick by her bf, and rounded up a posse of people to kick this guys ass.
he was having a black light party and drinking manischewitz wine out of a three foot tall trophy he stole from mcdonald's...that's when I decided it was time to leave
what do we think the timeline is for when your liver will begin to revolt against your drinking habits?
Fell off the toilet trying to reach to put my tampon in the garbage. Pride hurts real bad.
You got stoned and bought $300 worth of pudding. Again! Why do YOU think she left you?
Tomorrow night, I am putting you In my trunk. No excuses we have waited forever for this.
It was great. Except he kept asking me to lick his butthole, I was like firm no
Ever look at an ex and wonder...was I drunk that entire relationship??
Yes, yes I do.
Randomize