apparentely "Beer Pong Champ" is not a profession, no wonder they havent called me back......
told ya
i'll never see her again. i cant remember her last name. this is like cinderella except prince charming drank too much jameson and couldnt save a phone number properly
he just made me youtube cheetahs running and he thinks he is in a pool
and she just brought her bike into the shower with her
All i remember is Liz dragging me home yelling at me, crying, and barfing
i'm soo broke, the only trip i can afford for spring break is acid
and i think wearing the clothes from last night are out of the question...was there mud wrestling there? because i look like a participated..with a cat.
Got high again and all I want to do is wave this flag around
I think weed is turning my hair brown
I woke up on a boat next to an extremely attractive man wearing nothing but a life jacket. Neither one of us owns a boat...
Yeah she let me pull the goalie and wear my USA flag like a cape since it was the first day of the world cup
I'm not in it for just the sex. If I wanted mediocre dick once a week I would have stayed with one of my exes.
Only I could turn my one night stands into class essays. Go me.
But what we lack in money, we make up for in dry humor and drugs
Yea I went out in footie pajamas and still got laid. Good night for u?
Randomize
