Joe is a total sociopath, I'm going to hook up with him tonight
That was rough. We had a 50% puke rate and 100% still drunk rate at lunch
I puked a lego.
i was texting myself key events from last night so i could remember this morning. looked at my phone, texted my mother instead. our numbers differ by 1 digit
he came faster then a bring it on movie goes to dvd
you guys are cousins why the FUCK are your pants off
i feel like im playing gay clue. i have to figure out where i am, who took me home, and what he put in me
last night we were having sex and i didn't care if i got off. i was just holding up my hand behind his head so i could look at my new ring. i think he knew.
We're sitting in his room writing songs about America. There's a verse about a dead dog. There's tequila everywhere.
So, your mugshot picture is behind the counter at B-Dubs, with the caption: "not allowed on premesis."
Topless bubble bath with a lesbian is debatable as a gay experience.
I guess when I black out I feel that it's not inappropriate to grope my gf in front of her parents.... But hey at least I'm starting off 2013 single
Any recommendations for how to tell your wife about the pics of her 19 yr old sister on a porn site without admitting you were surfing said porn site?
The cat was building a spaceship out of the carpet, my legs were cans of tomato sauce, and there was something else in that pot you gave me.
There is a moment when you wake up with a butt plug in when you question your choices in life.
There is also a moment when you wake up in a kiddie pool of jello cubes where you question what the fuck you did last night. Are you still in the attic or did you go home.
Randomize
