ohhh my god. this party should be titled "my hookups of summers past" be expecting some good stories tomorrow
we were dressed as cave people and he kept telling everybody i was so easy a caveman could do it.
I have absolutely nothing sober to say to you.
Something strange is happening to me, I think I miss hooking up with girls sober
Your cock is gonna weep like a baby
Only he would come to a strip club and talk about an internship with Walt Disney during a lap dance.
My attempts to make you laugh have failed exceedingly. Naked snap chats it is
you really need to remember next time not to write your name and phone number on the paper its wrapped in.
But what if it got lost?
its illegal. you dont want people to contact you if they find it.
My nose was gushing blood and he just kept screaming "she took it like a champ" to everyone there. Plus side though, bartender felt bad for me and gave me a free drink.
What's more sad than going to Target to buy Plan B and the new Sam Smith album?
I feel like I owe her child an apology or something after blowing my load on the tattoo she has of her.
Is it possible to be sexually attracted to someone's hair?
I'm hungover and eating lunch at an elementary school. The children are barking. Litrealy barking, like dogs.
The guy at the liqiour store just said "Wow haven't seen you in awhile, is everything okay?"
You smoked too much and passed out, didn't you?
You know me so well.
Randomize
