Just come over and take your pants off. 35 mins tops. You'll be home before midnight cinderella
He gave me a promise ring. He promised that he will imagine me as every girl he fucks in college.
he just kept saying "come on iron man, you can do this!" to himself the whole time..
i am exhausted. it's been years. we both know his dick is small. the jig is up.
Then, he just started shoving orange pieces in my mouth as a chaser
She whispered into my eat that she wanted me to fuck her while her parrot watched...
1.) where are you? 2.) you making meatballs? 3.) Meatballs for sex?
Is it going to be one of those nights where I shouldn't wear my contacts so everyone looks more attractive?
I could probably do something when Im able to get enough strength to think about thinking about to stand.
We tried to make ramen in a glass bowl on the stove. They called facilities to pick the glass out of the door
Just high enough for therapy.
Rule 1: If any of us dies on a trip, the other two have to 'Weekend at Bernies' the shit outta that corpse...
Homophobes nationwide are huddled in their bunkers tonight and I can't stop giggling. Could be the wine.
My idiot ex texted me on Valentine's day to tell me I was right, he did need a therapist.
I'm fucking my way through California and it's kind of fun.
Randomize
