i now have a sippy cup solely for the purpose of drinking alcohol out of...am i an alcoholic?
This can't be good. I've realized that I weigh less in the morning after I have had a blackout drunk night than when I work out and eat healthy.
She walked into class late sat down for 5 min muttered 'oh i cant do this' and walked out. She looked like death.
We should party with her soon
It's been two weeks and I still have carpet burns on my knees. Well done.
We're trying to leave but amy's hitting on the guy who mans the nacho cart
We sat in his closet and drank four loko out of my camelbak for an hour in the dark. You tell me how my night went.
He shit in a sock dude, you can't come back from that
This is why Helen Keller didn't drink
Fingerblasting some girl on the deck tryna get her to fuck on a lifeboat
you know that moment when all the alcohol kicks in and suddenly you realize the bar is very loud and you just want to bite someone sexy and ride their face i am kinda at that moment
No it was fine, I've just never seen that many people eat dog food
who orders an old fashioned in 2014? even my Grandparents think you're an asshole.
You said you made a new recipe, but it turned out you just cooked ramen with vodka instead of water.
She's celebrating a tinder-match-aversary and I'm not about that.
His bedroom is the preferred destination of MILFs, cougars, recent divorcees and sexually frustrated wives
His penis is my hero
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