The human being growing inside of her was a mistake. Lets just hope the boyfriend isn't.
The worst part was when my mom got more drunk than anyone else and started doing the Time Warp.
I GOT MY PERIOD!
damn. i had names picked out.
My dad assaulted a TSA agent this morning. Shut down airport security. Don't tell me that your family is embarrassing.
I love wearing low cut shirts cuz then when class gets boring, I can look down and admire my breasts.
i was mowing the lawn and found the coffee pot in the bushes
Ohh god. I'm so nervous. This is terrible. He just introduced me as "the best girlfriend of his life" and Jenny as his "sexual roomate"
I dont think I should be allowed to pick my own boyfriends anymore
Guess who just got out of a ticket because the cop liked her costume? THIS GIRL.
I'm going to text my booty call and tell him nevermind, that I got the job finished by myself. That will teach him to text back faster.
This lesson is brought you by a psychology class.
It's like bringing a chick home from the bar the night before and waking up to thinking you are about to go another round... Just to wake up and find she's already left...
Steve brought 6 joints and 2 bottles of makers mark, Josh shat himself in the pool, and Amy blew me. Hope that extra 3 dollars an hour for working overnights is still worth it.
After we finished, she peed a little on my chest and told me she was "marking her territory". I didn't know if I should have been scared or aroused.
I'm not too sure what happened last night, but by the looks of it, we must have gotten drunk with zebras.
Do you think in an oreo forest they would have rivers of milk?
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