I got called a slut by a bunch of girls that work at Hooters..wtf is that shit? explain that to me
What do you call a girl with PMS and GPS?
A crazy bitch that WILL find your ass!
a queef is a wish your heart makes.
She fucked me because she said I looked like Neil Patrick Harris
So it turns out rose was the bear hunting girl. Fuck my life
None of those words made sense together.
Fucking finally I'm about to die from sobriety over here
We're watching a video in class about cheese. The scoring for it sounds like that of a Lifetime movie. My mind is creative. I've continued my own story in my head of a wheel of cheese that was raped and murdered. It's so sad. I hope they get the guy. Btw, the video is about marketing.
We're walking, taxis are a waste of money that can be spent on alcohol.
Check having sex on the rocks and dirt on the peak of saddleback mountain off my list.
I felt like a god.
I've actually, minus lsat night have actually changed my drinking habits
We're about to play the try not to vom at the president's house game...
She drunkenly dropped her ranch for her pizza. She tried to clean it up with her hands off the street then realized it didn't work and started licking her fingers.
How many more times can I say I need to get laid before you kill me?
It was a fun night. I made out with the door guy at the gay bar but he didn't speak english
There was no door guy at the bar
A stripper choked me last night. Then I choked her. Now we're going on a date this Saturday.
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