When I told my boss I'm using a vacation day for 4/20, he gave me his personal cell phone number and winked at me.
you do realize eating doritos and gatorade as a breakfast hangover cure is only acceptable for one more month - then we have to grow up
Almost thought it was a good idea to call his parents to thank them for having a son with an awesome dick. That high.
All I remember is taking a bath, puking in the bath water numerous times while trying to wash myself and I must of eventually given up
He really thought ahead and just left the tequila in the mail box for late night pickup. Best. Friend. Ever.
I had to have the guy I went out with last night come pick me up from the hotel the next morning after I ditched him for a firefighter..don't even talk to me about a walk of shame
bro i dont care how hot she was, you try keeping it up with the amount of puppet he had in her room, it was like fucking in jeff dunham's house
You can achieve whatever you wish in your imagination with some help from drugs
So I almost just died there. And we need a new garage door.
I tried to walk home in my heels. And I fell into a snow bank. And then I cried and a policeman came up to me and said I can't sit in a snowbank and got me a cab. So maybe that's where I left my credit card. I remember the cop asking me if I was old enough to drink, too. OMG. How embarrassing. Pretty sure I told him to "leave me alone."
we're spending all day in bed drinking spiked eggnog and fucking
And god said thou shalt never deny free booze. And it was good.
you were on all fours in the front yard puking, but managed to hand the pizza delivery guy a beer and to have a nice day.
conclusion: canadians have really freaky sex
you were trying to drink the laundry detergent and yelling blue drankkkkk
Randomize
