i just walked by a road side game of beer pong? it's gonna be a long day
The musician playing at the bar just puked inside his acoustic guitar, then sang an encore performance. I love Louisa!!!!
And then she proceeded to fling her bra around while screaming the rocket power theme song, still managing to not fall off the skateboard
You better be watching. There will be a POP quiz. Each correct answer gains you 5 more minutes of the sexual act of your choice
i had them turn on teen mom at the bar so i wouldnt be tempted to go home and make babies with the guy next to me
Would it be tacky of me to tell the two girls I just found out he's been sleeping with on the side that I've been having gay sex with him all semester?
I have effectively turned laundry day into a drinking game.
We found him in the backyard throwing shoes onto the roof yelling "WHO BRINGS CROCS TO A HOUSE PARTY?!"
You were peeing on a bus yelling fuck public transit, congratulations.
I feel like my body was put in a dryer with rocks set on permanent press.
Also if i get drunk and start crying about the elephants you all have my permission to abandon me.
You said, "I'll have this whole island inside of you by 6 AM. Just point out who you want and I'll make it happen."
I fucked a marine... I told him it was like personal revenge and he said he could live with that and that he didn't mind being used.
No idea who's grandma but people were just running around naked
How dare sober me try to tell drunk me I can't eat the applesauce in the fridge! Stingy bitch IM EATING THE APPLESAUCE! you can tell sober me I said that.
Randomize
