I just had my first experience getting hit on by a guy. It was really awkward, he touched my chest and invited me to a gay bar because "women get drunk and let their guard down at gay bars"
thats actually pretty good logic
Someone is gonna learn how to start an IV in the morning
Home, forcing the cats to make out. Someone should get some.
New term. "Find a husband" fridays. It's like thirsty thursdays, but with a dowry.
screw jello shots the kids from the culinary school made pudding shots with 4 loko.
Bailing my boss from jail at five in the morning.. If thats not a promotion I don't what is.
Nothing like playing hide and seek with a state patrol officer early in the morning to get your heart rate up.
No teenage boy ever gets scared away from sex unless she is slipping a wedding ring on your finger or is killing your cat. I promise.
It got heated then she just left and I was all alone in the women's restroom.
I want Walter White to make me a bologna sandwich while I'm chained to a support
If we had a dog do you think we would be less hoe-y?
Nah
Its okay. I just know how you can text with your hands cuffed behind you back, so I had no idea what "oh shit" meant.
Being forward is somethimes a problems. Like in sexual deity Kong.
I think you’re losing coherence.
I am
I no longer have the means to support both a women and an alcohol addiction
He was a half hour late. His excuse was that his brother knifed him right before he was going to leave. I didn't believe him until I saw the gauze.
Randomize
