We found an eightball on the ground last night. I mean, really, who does that?
her nose should be used as a dorsal fin
you took out flashcards at the bar and went around asking guys what totalitarianism meant.
Take your time, they're doing body shots off the dog.
His dick looked like E.T.'s finger. It scared me.
As a matter of fact you told me i fulfilled your "woodshop teacher fantasy"
i'm sorry, but my penis isnt the solution to your problems
I don't remember anything but yelling at the ref in Spanish.
I ended up driving home on my birthday, he opened the door to puke on the highway, and animal balloons were flying out of the car the entire time. The people behind us got a show.
There is a 5-year old here fighting 'drunk monkeys'. He tried to knock a drink out of my hand with a plastic light saber...
Just made a floating bacon boat for the hot tub. This is what America is all about.
i'm not sure what happened last night.. i do remember the police calling me to find out where i was because apparently at some point i went missing? don't worry though. they found me
Why wake up next to a guy when you can wake up next to a bag of chips and not have to worry about what kind of std you might've caught
Well we had to pull over on a side street in town so I could throw up while moms were driving by with car loads of kids, I feel like I just performed a lil silent AA film for the childrens
The only thing he told me before he passed out was that he is from Buffalo and I'm a bitch.
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