i did the 'picked up item' thing from zelda when i jizzed on her face
so you're single again?
yea but it was worth it
just caught a 10 year old kid staring at my dick next to me in the urinal. i just nodded to him and said yeah, mines bigger little dude. i gotta stop drinking in public....
He sat there and debated the pros and cons of hooking up with me
Jello bowls to the fucking face, that or ramen spiked with liq. Those are the only options in this house.
You leave me no choice. Your vagina is grounded. It can just sit there and think about what it's done.
currently taking a solo cab to the strip club at 1 in the morning. this is healthy.
We're going to catch a squirrel this summer
But college guys get to crossfade so there's that
No idea what that is
Like getting bent? When you drink and smoke together...
I'm 30 stop using your cool kids words
I had to hypnotize my roommate last night so there's that.
I knew he was a classy dude because when I told him my name was Jen he said "Gin? Like Gin & Juice?"
So what if I got a tattoo on a bus, it was sterile.
I cannot handle Xanax... I just turned my computer on and I googled how to work YouTube
Is it a bad sign starting the new year off naked, wet, and alone?
Asking for a friend of course
i just woke up, first off why is there pineapple everywhere and who's underwear is on my ceiling fan ?
The police officer that arrested me Friday night just bought me a shot
Randomize
