Hi Jason, it's Liz. We dont need you to pick us up anymore. I dont care if you will be here in a milisecond. And you should know im wearing really amazing shoes.
Vegas for my brothers bachelor party. Just landed and I have a boner. I'm giggly and teary eyed I'm so excited.
And then falling down drunk the next morning, concussing yourself and splitting your head open?
That was pretty sad, but you more than made up for it by using "concussing" in a sentence
I have started doing my homework in bars. It just feels right.
i wrote her a fucking poem. i better get laid for that
Couldn't see or hear that well because she hit me on the back of the head with a bat. That is my excuse. Also the gin.
Maybe just the first 2 wks of Nov can be dick detox.
What part of a retired stonemason dealing with your rock hard cock does not sound like you have the wrong number ?
I still don't know his name but his ass is spectacular. Like he should never wear pants.
How are you feeling?
I mean, shattered dignity aside, not bad.
If you send me one more .gif of that fumble, I will make the 10 hour drive just to set you on fire.
I think I puked in the middle of sex last night if that's any indication as to how drunk I was.
ya I went to the grocery store literally just for cheese and condoms
I just told my mormon professor that I was late because I was getting a STD test... good start to the day.
The room got awkwardly silent right as i yelled "leave him alone! I know plenty of straight guys who like to suck dick!"
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