i wish swine flu would become a total pandemic so we cld be rid of all the people that are complaining about it
I cant believe we actually had a nipple party!
Do you think he likes his girlfriend's moustache?
To bright to open both eye. Get pizza and put in feeding tube so i can sleep more
i woke up this morning next to my toilet covered in an attempt to make blanket of toilet paper
She wasn't to happy when she went to put her shirt on and it was covered in cum I just looked at her and said collateral damage....
im sorry for trying to flush a roll of toilet paper down with my puke. probably not great for your toilet
He came to my house drunk at two a.m., got in the hot tub, refused to get out until he smoked a blunt, and said "That's what brothers and sisters are for."
My life now consists of 2 time frames. BV before vibrator and AD after death of my sex life.
Some idiot from high school is in the hospital for bonging three beers up his ass
He should have died. Natural selection.
Can I come over? I respect you, but I want disrespectful things to happen
It's all good, I've hated people for lesser reasons than being my ex boyfriend's favorite pro athlete of all time
He told me we were going to a cabin. It's just logs and a tarp made into walls. This night can go either way at this point.
Peeing out the car window on the way home was a nice touch. In December, in Michigan, at 3am. Never seen a girl do that before. Neither had the guy in the minivan next to us.
I'm sorry, that really sucks. I'm in the bath eating lasagna and if anyone comes in here it's going to be bad news for them
Randomize
