my mouth tastes like poor choices
I seriously can't date anymore I forgot how to hide my crazy
Just did lines off a tackle box. Love Montana.
You were passed out on the chair and when I asked you if you were okay you looked up and said "I'm fine, I was just pretending for a picture" then passed out again.
its like accelerated beer pong for children.....we train champions young
You convinced us both to take shots of jack Daniels through our eyes.
woke up laying on an empty pizza box and some guy was doing blow off my butt...i guess i should thank you.
I'm at the perfect height to walk up to the corner of my mom's stove and rest my balls on it. Just thought you'd like to know they're warm.
Februarys looking very promising in the vaginal department
Why do I love Florida? Because I just quit my job because it's too pretty a day to go to work and I'm going to the beach to eat seafood and drink beer.
him being a republican bothers me way more than his coke problem.
He is dating a girl who is on the Olympic shooting team...I've never been so scared to hit on a guy with a girlfriend in my entire life.
I feel as though I look like a mom with a substance abuse problem
Girl you know I'm an advocate of debauchery but you might wanna check yoself.
I blame her lesbian super powers of coercion.
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