my friend just told me "I dunno what u r doing but keep doing it cuz it makes u look fabulous"
LOL that's cool. Guess u r gonna have to keep doing me
so I guess it's not okay to mix vodka and ..everything and then proceed to offer a lap dance to ...everyone.
Is pulling weed out of a vagina a good thing or a bad thing?
By the way, your roommate is right. His penis is much bigger than yours.
I don't know how God could bestow someone that emotionally confused with such an awesome penis.
I think i'm just gonna start shot-gunning everything that comes in can form.
when i start to cry when i lose at mario kart is when you should put me to bed
And then I interrupted the father of the groom, to ask if she was "ballet or pole" in the middle of his story about his niece, the dancer.
What can I say, I'm a giver.
Smoking up the homeless at 3am does not make you a humanitarian.
You insisted on calling your mixture of Bacardi & powdered milk "a Jamacian Facial."
Just asking. Could've given you a lap dance in a sombrero, drenched in corona and tequila.
God Bless cinco de mayo
Don't feel sorry for me. I'm getting Red Lobster and sex tonight. Nothing can bring me too far down.
DIBS on your mom for my beer pong partner.
We got high, had sex, and watched retro scooby doo shows. Best friends with benefits yet.
Did you ask Harvard boi?
Apparently he likes someone who is into being smart and a supporter of human rights ugh what a skank
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