I dont kno what was worse. Waking up 2 a guy next to me thinking I got blackout or realizing it was your boyfriend.
I was looking through my facebook friends list to see how many ppl on the list i've hooked up with, and was effectively reminded of my failed friendships, relationships, fuck budy-ships, friends with benefits, and "i cant remember if i ever did shit with him but we're awkward now" ships.
good call on bringing her. it's always good to invite chicks who mix booze and prescription drugs.
think i got pink eye from a stripper in vegas. showgirls did not prepare me adequately for this. be kind, 2010.
Seriously.......what do you have to do to get arrested in Vegas???
So thanks to the xanax and vodka memory erasering combo i wake up only to reopen a picture of some very familiar balls
We had sex in the bathroom. Then he told me I could watch him pee.
No, I'm in the bathroom trying to scrub off the 16 tally marks on my wrist so its not so obviously to the world that I puked on a couch last night.
I caught him trying to shit in her bed. I asked him why he was doing it and he said "because it's wrong."
Sorry about the flaming shit on your door
I never thought I'd be in my late 20s and send that text
They are gonna stay together and get married and have 2 children before he wakes up and realizes that there is more to life than anal
In my defense, there are at least three ways to die doing that, and I'm still here. America, Fuck Yeah!
After finding out he was married when we were together, I don't trust him.
Thx for last night. I've never had so much fun while being told my life decisions are questionable at best.
Can you please bring the nipple sombrero up?
Randomize
