U Should have said " it's ok baby most girls Sh*t when I do that.
Just saw an Asian kid crash into the bike rack with his bike. I love sitting outside the engineering building.
are you looking for your table cloth? Cause I found it around my neck this morning...
So i told my advisor i had to drop the class bc the prof said "supposably" and "irregardless" within the 1st 10 minutes of the 1st class; she agreed with me that dropping it was the best choice
The Firefighter Games are going to be in Tampa the same weekend I am. I think God is answering my vagina's prayers.
My summer fucks are coming back to haunt me with a vengeance.
Yes, but if I hadn't gotten here early, I never would have seen the butch lesbian midget waddling down stairs from the bar. Worth every minute of drinking alone.
Actually, you don't want to see me.. reached an all time low drinking kahlua out of the bottle concealed in a macdonalds bag
Do you realize half our text conversations are you asking me for tit pics and me saying no?
I had to rename my dildo. I met a little kid who named his teddy bear the same name. It just felt wrong.
George disappeared two hours ago with a stripper named "delicious." Haven't seen him since
Drunk me has cost me a lot in cell phones...
Things that have happened since you moved: Lemmy, Bowie, Snape, Prince, civility, democracy, Carrie Fisher, all dead. Record flooding down here. Twice. This is clearly your fault.
Wearing my one sleeve dress...thought you'd like to know I shaved ONE armpit lol
Love it. I wish you see me right now. I'm counting cash on my bed with no shirt on, beauty and the beast sound track on blast. Fucking creepin it up.
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