we should start having sex in the shower. less clean up.
everything was goin great until he pulled out his ed hardy lighter and smoked in my face like he was cool.
it's like you attract all the douchebags that nobody wants. people should thank you.
I feel like our bond is deeper now that we're both sleeping with married men. now we're really bffls
If this herpes test comes back negative I'm asking out the doctor.
We're not even buying beer. Just vodka. In pre-retrospect this was a bad idea but we're doing it anyway
Code red. She won't talk to me. Maybe it has something to do with her raccoon eyes. Perry said there was a brief moment of towel fighting until you passed out. Did you draw the turtle on my ass?
Wait does semen show up on blood tests?
Is it frowned upon to bring a flask to the er?
He put a canoe in the lazy river at the water and started paddling away from security
I should not be so motivated by a penis, but I am
we went to go get waffles and then i sucked his dick in a parking lot. average tuesday.
Shut the fuck up! I can hear you having sex over Pirates of the Caribbean you moaning whore.
i woke up on the floor in front of the fireplace and my last google search was "fuck sponges"
its not much but to go through all that to ask for half a balls worth of money was so stressful
Your ex spoke highly of your penis and it’s skill. I’m interested in learning more about it ;-)
Randomize
