speaking of unleashing monsters, we need to get condoms
The ratio was 19 to 1 and the 1 was lauren so it didn't even count.
I may still return these pants. Depends how much they smell like alcohol by tmrw morning. I've already spilled once.
my resolution for 2011 is to fuck him whenever he wants it. this year I'm going above and beyond the call of booty.
I have so much shit FLYING through my head. They're all in magic carpets and everything
I WANT MY VAGINA TO POUND AT NICE THINGS.
If you find my purse on your yacht please call me - girl you slept with after yacht party
I woke up in a stranger's bed wearing nothing but santa socks.
After a while I was so wet that I started crying. HE MADE ME SO HORNY I WEPT.
Did you know that pizza hut has a wedding proposal box? And sorry for being kinda drunk yesterday when you got here
Yeah we were on bar number 7 on our bike trail and you decided to steal my bike and we found you 20 minutes later eating Cheetos in the shallow end of your parents pool
I can't decide if this outfit makes me look like a pirate. I also can't decide if I care if it does.
I want you to worship my cock.
That's not how you start a conversation.
i looked at my texts in the morning and saw that i had a full conversation with myself via text thinking it was someone else. i rejected myself
He sent me the milestone first dick pic this morning, it looked like a baby's fist holding a tree trunk. I'm frightened and aroused in equal measure.
Randomize
