My mom found a condom in my purse
Correction: my mom found a used condom in my purse.
he refuses to go down on me anymore when he's high because he thinks my clit piercing stares at him
dude, she masturbates with a ken doll.
That shit is worth it...they got medicine for that now a days
he just invited me over for the 3 p's...pepsi pizza and porn...I'm gonna marry him
Disney World has no open container laws. Ohmygod this place is even cooler than it was when I was ten.
so jimmy johns showed up at our party last night. our house is sponsored now. living the dream.
I bruised my spine.. Jungle gyms were clearly not meant for sex.
Just been one of those weeks where alcohol out weighs friendship
He had me saved in his phone as "Dick Socket". Lets see if I ever fuck him in a bathroom again.
Called Jeff last night and told him I wanted to have sex in the airport terminal. Blackout Brooke definitely came out last night.
I'm waiting at the bar and am surrounded by unattractive women.
You need to get here and rebalance this disturbance in the force.
If you already knew specifically that I was smoking a bowl in my remodeled bathroom AND THEN still wanted to initiate sexting, please proceed to the altar and marry me this instant.
We do have a rich storied history of emotional warfare
when I walked in the door they were passed out naked, on top of eachother, with tetris controllers in their hands.
Randomize
