The funny thing about my wife cheating on me is that the guy probably has genital warts now. Sweet.
Would you rather have a 10 inch but pencil thin penis or a 2 inch very fat one?
Fat, it's not about touching the bottom it's about raising hell of the sides.
Exactly. All of us sinners go to hell and get nothing while all of the goody two shoes get to go to heaven where its all pink floyd, lasers, and pot.
I wonder who the first pervert was, and if he would be proud of me for advancing his art form by so much
The little things make me happy. Little dicks do not.
being able to look good while almost puking is a skill that takes a lot of puking to develop.
I mean its cheating, but i figure i've made out wiht married chicks before so its like a nicotine patch, quitting by doing less and less each day
me blowing you awake is the exact turn i want our relationship to take
Well despite the fact that I'm still not entirely sure this isn't an elaborate/cunning plan to kill me, I'm in.
Even dream me is a champ at smoking weed
I bet the guy on the treadmill next to me with the noise-canceling headphones wishes he could trade them for smell-canceling noseplugs. Hard to believe that last one did not involve any pants-shitting on my part.
Fuck you asshole. You cost me cheerleader pussy.
So, it's been almost 3 months and and I still dont know her last name. That's gotta be a record.
Vodka Vensday. With a Russian accent... It counts.
I fell out of my bed whilst trying not to move this morning. I AM ADULT
I had ice cream for breakfast two days in a row.
SUPER ADULTS
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