She wanted to test if her costume allows her to still have sex in it. It does
you made a powerpoint titled 'things i've drank tonight' and emailed it to me.
you flashed the cab driver so we didn't have to pay the fare and then you decided you were on a roll so you flashed the guy at the maccas drive through... safe to say your boob job was the best idea ever!!
you kept going on about how you couldnt haven been the one throwing up because you were peeing in circles.
Don't worry we did the "promise to get an abortion" handshake
All she was asking was for you to describe your coat so she could get it, but you kept yelling at her so the security threw you out.
Hypothetically, if a stripper with braces bites you on the cleavage and it leaves an open wound, do you need a tetanus shot?
I will never in my life forget you letting the cat lick your tongue
I asked if he wants to help me spring forward at 2am on Sunday. He seems down.
I swear I can feel something in my uterus. Like, I can feel his sperm searching for an egg. Wtf...
Sorry I didn't answer your call last night, I was peeing on the driveway.
That girl definitely just ate a hot dog and stared straight in to my eyes.
I did something very bad. More specifically, my boss.
I am NOT losing my v-card to a guy who doesn't know my ass from my elbow.
I just fucked her boyfriend. Happy birthday, bitch.
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