Luol and I just scored with two 40 year old married chicks. They dropped us off on the way to soccer prctic. The kids in the back were confused. Call me.
Apparently when you order 'bottomless fries' at red robin that doesnt mean you can go around to every table and eat all the fries you want off other peoples plates.
guy in front of me on the bus did 12 yrs, hes teling me about how to knife fight
she said it was ok for her to take her top off in the hot tub but she didn't take off her bottoms because that would be slutty
There was a pool of blood on my desk and we still don't know who it belongs to. missed a good party, man.
I just stuffed five dollars in my near empty box of camels to remind myself to buy more. And my mom says I don't budget my money
Okay wait let me power puke and then we can go dancing
What if this is the rest of my life? Sitting at the bar waiting for someone to play Single Ladies
Gravity stopped and i'm discussing Greek philosophy with two guys I don't know. There's someone asleep on me. We need to use their dealer.
I don't think you seem to understand this concept. WHEN A GAY GUY HANDS YOU A DAIQUIRI, YOU DRINK IT.
When we were finished I asked him how long it had been since he'd cum that hard. He thought really hard for a while before telling me his brain forgot how years worked.
I'm home alone drinking wine, so high, scrubbing my house down... This is what my thirsty thursday has become
I can feel your movements against the shared wall we are leaning up against. It makes me feel as though we are one. Queue Pocahontas song...
Was just told that I slept on the counter using a loaf of bread as a pillow. Clearly my life is going well.
Someone made a mask out of a crown royal bag. Can't decide if tacky or awesome.
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