He's telling me stories about how he made out with a 14 yr old when he was 22. I'm going home.
Also, I had a dream I had a ray gun and woke up holding my dick.
The doctor asked me what height I fell from to hurt my back.. I answered keg height
I put a toilet paper roll with my number on it by his face... hooking up is not happening
I just feel like I should give it a rest. I'm too old to be drinking bottles of grey goose and falling into koi ponds.
I demanded respect from my fuck buddy. Drunk me is not fun.
You guys can't keep having sex with them and cleaning their house! They're never going to take you seriously!
I'm currently sitting on the floor of a hostel reception area taking swigs of straight vodka, singing with people whose English doesn't go far beyond Lion King songs. I thought you might appreciate it.
I'm driving while wearing hulk hands
I have random bruises including my spine and visible bite marks on my neck. Thanksgiving car sex accomplished.
Drinking vodka and pirating music in the library. Welcome to finals week.
Low key that was incredibly dangerous to let me wield a sword at this point in the night
But no. So do not give him one damn penny. Unless they are in a sock and you are hitting him with it.
I think all the guys I've fucked in my life would get along perfectly. They'd probably form an orchestra and travel the fucking world. That gives me the slightest feeling of consistency in life which is great.
I think it's time for tequila and I to go our separate ways
Randomize