she gave me one of her senior pics and told me specifically to give it to you. In other words she still wants to suck your dick.
phone sex would be way better if there was an app for that...
Now for something completely different: ive figured out how to eat a banana without insinuating something completely naughty
370HSSV 0773H read that upside down
what are you doing with your life
I borrowed a glass of wine. And the bottle. Your cat said it was ok
I have a gyno appt today. I hate it when the Army gets involved with my vagina.
Dude. Once again. Cleaning house. Found weed I hid from myself a month ago. Celebrating/testing it out. if i dont text back in 10, call dominos.
I am at Brians in a pirate costume, what the hell am I thinking
It's seriously like a finger. But it's a cock. I don't know what to do. I feel like I fuck him to be polite.
I was so close to going to get my nipples pierced with my mom today
Fuck these bullshit days. My underwear are still inside out.
Im pretty sure I didnt bang him becasue I woke up at 6am to him jerking off with a fleshlight right next to me in bed ... He made himself cum and was moaning my name ... MOST AKWARD EXPIERENCE OF MY LIFE
You know you're high when you find yourself sitting on the floor with the refrigerator door open, talking to various foods. Hand gestures and all.
Apparently I thought every drink in my house needed to have a buddy so I put some vodka in each one. Long story short being wasted at work because the gatorade you brought is 60% liqour is not a great idea.
just found a joint on the street in downtown. smoked it with the hot guy from my chem class
WHAT IS UP WITH YOU SMOKING/ DRINKING THINGS OFF THE GROUND?
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